Fate indubitanter
by Lacks Gravitas
Summary: Sorcery is the forbidden magic, so powerful it can be called a divine miracle. When Shirou and Rin dabble with this forbidden art, they get far more than they bargained for. What are the chances of them surviving the Holy Grail War twice?
1. Prologue

**Fate/indubitanter**

**Prologue**

I've been waiting for a while. I had no idea when she might make her move, so I've been hiding in the bushes since the sun went down. It's freezing and I can barely feel my fingers anymore, but finally the door to her house opens and I quickly rush to intercept.

"Tohsaka!" I whisper urgently, waving my arms to better catch her attention. "Tohsaka, over here!"

The girl's head darts around anxiously before her eyes zero in on me.

"Emiya-kun?" she gasps, and her tone suggests equal parts surprise and annoyance. "What do you think you're doing here? I told you I would handle Zouken. You and Saber are supposed to be looking for that shadow, remember?"

"Saber is taking care of that," I reply uneasily. "I've arranged some reliable backup for her so you don't have to worry about it."

Rather than calming Tohsaka, my words have the opposite effect. "Are you INSANE?" she exclaims. "Maybe Saber can handle herself, but you're just a walking target without her protection. Haven't I warned you enough times? When are you going to stop fooling around and start acting like a Master? Your life is at stake, you idiot!"

"Look, it's complicated," I reply irritably. It's been a while so I forgot Tohsaka used to treat me as being completely useless. Well, she still does come to think of it, but at least she acknowledges me. "Like I said, Saber has reliable backup and my being there would only make things more difficult. And anyway, should you really be complaining about a little extra help?"

"Help?" Tohsaka blurts in such a scathing tone that I wilt away from her a little. "I don't need your help Emiya-kun. You can barely help yourself. Come back in ten years when you've picked up enough skills not to be a burden and I'll consider it."

Urgh… After tonight, I'll never complain about the things you say about me again, Rin. Sheesh, you really didn't hold back before, did you? I'll be sure to be a little more thankful from now on.

"I'm already here, aren't I?" I say forcefully. "Don't brush me off out of hand, okay? Maybe I won't be any help but maybe I will. Even if you tell me to go home now, I can't do that and Saber wouldn't be there to protect me anyway."

Tohsaka glares at me for a while but this time I don't shy away. Finally she bites her lip and turns her head from me. "Fine, you can come with me, but you have to listen to everything I say! If you can't agree to follow my orders, then I'll just have Archer knock you out and take you back against your will."

I nod in acceptance of her request. I'm used to being bossed around by Rin anyway.

"Rin," says a voice that seems to come from nowhere. It must be Archer in spirit form. "I advise that you reconsider. Emiya's presence will only hinder us."

"I know that," Tohsaka snaps. "But he's already here, isn't he? I agreed to cooperate with him so I have to take responsibility."

"And what of your responsibilities as a Master? Cooperating with another Master is fine, but at least ally with one who can hold his own weight. Useless dreck like Emiya isn't needed. If you insist on dragging him along, I will not lift a finger to protect him."

The Servant's blunt manner of speaking greatly resembles his Master's. His words bother me less than Tohsaka's, though. I always hated this guy and couldn't care less about what he thinks.

"That's fine," I growl. "I wouldn't want to owe anything to someone like you in the first place." I wish I could see him so I'd know where to direct my anger.

I feel someone place a hand on my shoulder. When I turn my head, I see Tohsaka with a tight expression on her face. "Emiya-kun, Archer has a point. I can't guarantee your safety if anything happens. If you get unlucky, neither I nor Archer will risk our life to save yours."

"I understand," I tell her. If anything, I prefer that to be the case. I don't want Tohsaka to endanger herself on my account. I don't really care what happens to Archer, though. "What kind of Master isn't prepared to risk their life? I'm coming with you, Tohsaka."

"Then there's nothing left to talk about," Tohsaka says with a nod. I see something like approval flicker in her eyes. "Let's go."

It isn't far to the Matou estate from Tohsaka's house, but we proceed with caution.

"Archer, do you sense any other Servants in the area?" Tohsaka whispers tersely.

"No," replies the voice from nowhere. "But the boundary field surrounding the building may conceal their presence, even if there is one."

"You think Zouken has a Servant?" I question Tohsaka. "I thought we'd be fine since Shinji isn't a Master anymore."

"No, we can't be that optimistic," Tohsaka answers. Her eyes are distant. "After Saber defeated Rider, you said that Shinji's book burned and his Servant disappeared, right? That doesn't mean Rider is dead, only that Shinji lost his right as a Master. I won't go into details, but that book Shinji had was probably created when Rider's true Master used a Command Spell to bind her to Shinji's will. It gave him the power to direct Rider as if he were a real Master, which he lost after the book was destroyed. Rider is probably still alive, though. A Servant's link to this world isn't severed until the bearer of their Command Seals dies."

"And in Rider's case, you think that person is Zouken," I infer.

Tohsaka nods. "Zouken might be a crippled old man on his last legs, but we still can't underestimate him. In any case, that's all irrelevant to our current task. Our goal tonight is to avoid fighting. We're only doing this to gather information."

We lapse into silence as we draw closer to the Matou house. It's a western style mansion, like the Tohsaka residence, but it looks much older because the paint in worn in some places and huge stalks of ivy have taken over the east wall. It's winter, so it makes sense that the trees don't have leaves on them, but they only add to the creepy atmosphere. I always did think that living in such a foreboding old building didn't suit Sakura.

On the other hand, Shinji with his twisted personality seemed a perfect fit.

As we approach the front gate, Tohsaka holds up her hand as a signal to halt.

"Hold here for a second," she says and starts moving her hands across an invisible wall. "I need to tune in to the boundary field so it doesn't recognize us as enemies."

From the tone of her voice, you'd think it was the simplest thing in the world. In reality, it's a very complex, almost surgical process with no margin for error. In some ways it would be easier to dismantle the boundary field entirely. It would require an immense amount of magical energy, so much that anything less than a Rank A Noble Phantasm would be insufficient, but the process itself is essentially like shattering glass and very straightforward.

Tricking the boundary field so it doesn't recognize outsiders with hostile intent isn't very taxing in terms of magical energy, but it's like trying to pick up a single grain of sand on the beach using chopsticks without touching any of the other grains of sand around it. For most magi such a feat is impossible. For Tohsaka Rin? Sometimes I feel like nothing is impossible for her.

"Got it!" Tohsaka chirps triumphantly. "It should be safe to enter, but we have to be quick. The effect will last maybe twenty minutes, so we have to leave before then."

I blink. Wow, she did that even faster than I expected. I guess that's Tohsaka for you.

"…impressed are we, Emiya-kun?" Tohsaka teases. At first I don't know what she's talking about, but then I realize my mouth is hanging open.

I quickly master my face and feign ignorance. I'm not supposed to know enough to realize how incredible the spectacle I just witnessed really was.

"Huh? Should I be? All you did was fiddle around with the boundary field, right?"

Tohsaka's smile disappears and a scowl forms in its place. "'Fiddle around'? Is that all you think I did?" Her voice is venomous. "You have no… oh, never mind. It's a waste of time trying to explain it to a novice magus like you."

She rolls her eyes at me and then stomps away angrily, crossing the threshold to the Matou residence. With her back turned, I just smile at her. What's more amazing than her skill is that she doesn't boast about it. Even if she casually throws insults like calling me a novice, I know she's harder on herself than anyone else. It took me a while, but I think I just about have the measure of Tohsaka Rin.

She snaps her head back at me. "Well? Are you coming or not?"

"Sorry," I hastily apologize as I jog up to join her. I know it's not the time for sentimentality, but I can't help it. Being with this Tohsaka who tries so hard to only show her tough side is nostalgic.

"Rin," Archer's voice catches both our attention. It sounds fainter than before so he must be further away. I turn my field of vision towards the direction it originated and see a knight in red materialize from nothing moments later.

"Did you find something, Archer?"

"There is a trapdoor hidden among the bushes on the north side of the building."

Tohsaka and I hurry over to him. In a small area completely surrounded by shrubbery there is a wooden that look like they lead to some sort of cellar. The hedges growing nearby obscure it from view, but the door itself is spotless, if a bit old.

"It's well taken care of," Tohsaka observes. "They must trim the foliage back often so it doesn't grow over the door. Very suspicious… Good work, Archer."

"What do you think Zouken's hiding down there?" I wonder aloud.

Tohsaka rolls up her sleeves. "Only one way to find out." She places both hands on the iron hinge and pulls, revealing stairs that lead to oblivion.

"We'll need a lig-" I start to say but am blinded when Archer pulls something from behind his back. I blink a few times and the world slips back into focus. He's holding a torch.

"You were saying?" Archer says wryly, smirking at me like he considers me some kind of insect.

I just glare back at him. So he can project useful things, too, huh? Come to think of it, I haven't tried to project anything other than swords, not counting those failures in the shed at my house. Dissatisfied with losing to that jerk, I get the urge to try my hand at it but have sense enough not to actually attempt it. Rin would be pissed if she found out I blew my cover over something so meaningless.

"I'll go first, Rin," Archer says, stepping into the darkness below. "Maybe you should tie the boy to a pole and leave him outside. He can keep watch."

The bastard is comparing me to a dog! I'm so pissed off I almost try to punch him in retaliation, but hold myself back through sheer force of will. He always did know how to push my buttons. Well, I guess that's only natural considering who he is…

Whatever. I won't give him the satisfaction of knowing he almost got to me.

Tohsaka looks at me questioningly. "Did something happen between you two without me knowing? You're getting along even worse than usual."

I just roll my shoulders. "Nah. This is the way it's supposed to be with us."

She quirks an eyebrow at me but doesn't push the issue any further.

"It's safe," Archer's voice echoes from underground. Despite his words of assurance, he sounds tense.

Tohsaka senses it too. "Stay close, Emiya-kun," she says before stepping into the breach.

"I'm right behind you," I agree.

As we descend the dimly lit staircase, the first thing I notice is the air. It's stagnant and leaves a bad taste in my mouth. The lower we go, the worse it gets until I'm practically gagging from the putrid odor. It gets brighter as we draw nearer to where Archer is standing.

Finally the narrow passageway opens into a cavernous area. There are countless holes lining the walls, each cut by what must have been a stone mason so the sides and bottom are perpendicular to each other, with an arch spanning the top.

"It's some kind of mausoleum," Tohsaka says.

"Yeah," I agree vaguely. That certainly explains why the place reeks of death.

"It looks like there's some sort of cage in the middle of the floor down there," Tohsaka adds.

I follow her gaze and see that she's correct. There was a metal cage that looked a lot like a smaller version of the ones you see housing animals at the zoo. Only, it was big enough to fit maybe one or two animals… or people.

Then something else catches my eye. "There's something moving down there…"

"Huh? Where?" Tohsaka asks.

"It's… everywhere," I answer. "It's like the entire floor is just one giant, black writhing mass."

"Really? I can't…" Tohsaka falls silent and her eyes widen. "You're right. What the hell is that? Can you tell, Archer?"

The red knight doesn't answer, but he too is starting intently at… what ever is was we were looking at.

"I'm going to get a closer look," Tohsaka declares. I automatically follow her as she heads further down the staircase.

"Rin, wait!" Archer's clarion clear shout pierces through the stagnant air.

Tohsaka pauses and turns around. "Archer? What's wrong?"

As soon as she turns her back, I see something leap up from the amorphous mass. It's small and its movements are snakelike, only the creature is much too short to be a snake. I don't need to know exactly what it is to be able to tell it's dangerous, though.

"Tohsaka, get down!"

My body moves on instinct. I slip past Tohsaka to guard her back and at the same time brandish the twin Yin and Yang swords of Bakuya and Kanshou. The strain of the rapid double projection sears my Magic Circuit and it feels like I've just swallowed fire, but I bear it and make a single, smooth slashing motion with my weapons.

The snakelike creature splits apart at the seams and the pieces instantly disperse and fade to dust. Without pausing, I take Tohsaka by the arm and lead her back to higher ground. The relief I feel is short-lived and disappears when I lock eyes with Archer.

Crap. He saw me use projection magic. There's no way he didn't notice.

Quick. I need to make up an excuse. Um… damn. I'm no good when I get put on the spot like this.

"S-so what was that thing, anyway?" I ask shakily, hoping to buy myself some time to think.

Archer continues to stare at me and his hawk-like eyes seem to see right through me. To my surprise, however, he replies with an answer to my question. "A Crest Worm. It's a disgusting familiar that feeds on prana. They're useless except they can be implanted into a human body and act as an artificial Magic Circuit. The process is incredibly painful to the host, and drastically shortens their lifespan."

I'm confused by his straightforward answer. Rather than buying me time to think, I'm put even more off-kilter.

"Er… okay?" I blurt. "Um… why are those things down here then? And why are there so many of them?"

Archer sighs at me. "I truly pity that pea-sized brain of yours. I know it's difficult, but at least put it to use every once in a while. Recall the cage? Recall 'incredibly painful'?"

I ignore his condescending attitude. The gears in my head start to churn.

"You mean… this is like some kind of torture chamber?"

Archer rolls his eyes. I suppose that answers my question.

"But who would Zouken want to torture?" I wonder aloud. "And why?"

Archer scoffs at me and his lips quirk in disgust. "I can only guess at 'why', but 'who' is obvious. This is the Matou estate and I believe you are well acquainted with one particular Matou."

I don't follow him. "Shinji?" I ask. Then it hits me. No, it has to be Sakura. But… but that couldn't be. She would have said something…

Damn it. Did I ever know her at all? Is this why she…?

"What a fool," Archer snorts derisively. "You cling to your ridiculous ideal and prance around playing the hero but you're unable to save a single person, not even the ones closest to you."

That's it. He crossed the line. My head boils over and I can't think straight anymore.

"Shut up!" I scream at him. "Like hell I'm going to take that shit! Not from you! I guess that one time I kicked the crap out of you wasn't enough, eh?"

Archer quirks an eyebrow. "Oh? And when exactly did that happen?" He smiles at me and my blood runs cold.

Damn it. Damn him. He played me like a fiddle. I don't know how, but he knows. Or he guessed at it. Or maybe he's even bluffing. It doesn't matter at this point. He suspects me, and that's enough. I blew it. All I can do is hope he keeps his mouth shut long enough so that Tohsaka doesn't catch on and I can slip away before I make things any worse.

I try to think, grasping at any straws within my reach. Then I remember something.

"Tohsaka, you said we only have twenty minutes, right? It's been what… fifteen already? We should probably leave."

"I think we can spare a few more minutes," she replies. Her voice echoes from behind me. It strikes me as odd, because Tohsaka isn't one to take unnecessary risks. I turn to face her, but freeze in my tracks.

Tohsaka has her arm extended out at me and I feel familiar chill run up my spine. I recognize that cold, steely glint in her eyes. It's just like that time she ambushed me after school and tried to force me to give up my Command Spell.

She's ready to kill me. Damn it, she must have seen me use projection magic too.

"H-Hold on, Tohsaka," I yelp in panic. "We agreed to cooperate, right? It's not like you to betray an ally."

Tohsaka doesn't mince words. "You're not Emiya," she says calmly, poised to fire her Gandr Shot at any moment. "Just now, when you grabbed me, I sensed your magical distortion. You're a real magus, not just a wannabe like Emiya."

A wannabe? Ouch. I know I wasn't much to speak of before, but at least call me a "novice" or something.

Wait. Why am I worrying about such trivial things at a time like this? If I don't come up with an explanation, Tohsaka might seriously kill me.

But what excuse could I possibly come up with that isn't an obvious lie? Tohsaka can see through me without even looking me in the eye. It doesn't matter if she's "my" Tohsaka or not. Tohsaka Rin is still Tohsaka Rin. I can't win against her. I can't lie to her. I can't tell her the truth for the same reason. If I do, Rin _will_ kill me.

"Tell me who you are," Tohsaka demands, making no effort to hide her murderous intent. "Do you serve Zouken? Did he command you to lure us here into a trap?"

I know it's inappropriate given the circumstances, but seeing the serious look on her face and the poise which she holds herself reminds me of why I admire the girl so much.

Geez, what am I thinking? Rin would scold me for failing to take a situation like this seriously. In the worst case, she might even consider it "cheating" and do something drastic, like castrate me.

That thought sobers me considerably.

"No," I say, hoping she doesn't mistake the quaver in my voice as a lack of sincerity. "I don't work for Zouken and I'm not your enemy. I really am Emiya Shirou."

Tohsaka clucks her tongue in disgust. "I don't care if you're my enemy or not, but there's no way I'm going to trust you if you insist on telling me obvious lies."

The Magic Crest on Tohsaka's arm activates with a burst of brilliant blue light. There's no time to think. I have to project a weapon to block her Gandr Shot. I picture a black and white shortsword in my mind and switch on my Magic Circuit.

"Rin, wait."

Both Tohsaka and I snap our heads at the prompt of the speaker. It's the knight in red whose presence I'd temporarily forgotten.

"Why did you stop me, Archer?" Tohsaka huffs in annoyance. "I never expected you would ever want to show an enemy lenience."

"I could care less what happens to that one," Archer says. He's looking at me and I stare back at him unflinchingly. Something like hate surges within me, and I can see he feels the same. In a way, it's reassuring; even now things haven't changed at all between us.

"I don't mind if you blow him to kingdom come," Archer continues, "but I just thought you should know: that boy is definitely Emiya Shirou."

"What?" Tohsaka blurts. She looks at him, then at me, and back to him again. "What are you talking about, Archer? Emiya-kun can't use projection magic that advanced. You saw the same thing I did: whoever that person is, he reproduced both of your swords. There's no way Emiya-kun is capable of such a thing, at least not without completely frying his Magic Circuit."

"I agree," Archer says without taking his eyes off of me. "Nevertheless, that person standing there is unmistakably Emiya Shirou."

Tohsaka seems torn. She glares at me with a pained look on her face. Then she turns back to Archer.

"How can you be so sure?"

Archer doesn't answer. His eyes simply continue to burn into me.

Knowing him, he probably already suspects something close to the truth even if he doesn't "know". If that's the case, then there's no point in hiding it any longer. I'll just have to accept the consequences from Rin when we meet up again later. In a way, it's more her fault than mine in the first place. If it weren't for her, we wouldn't even be in this mess.

…but, man… What's she going to do to me as punishment for blowing our cover?

I look at the Tohsaka in front of me and sigh in defeat. If I have to choose between taking my lumps from her now or my Rin later, I pick later.

"Tohsaka, let's go back to your house," I say. "I'll explain everything to you once we get there, but it isn't safe to talk in this place. It's a long story and our time's almost up. We'll have problems if Zouken gets alerted that we're here."

Tohsaka continues to glare at me and I can tell she isn't convinced.

"I promise you that I have no ill intentions towards you. Well… maybe Archer but not you, Tohsaka. I swear I would never doing anything to hurt you. Though… honestly, part of the reason for that is because I know you'd come back and hurt me twice as much in retaliation."

As I finish, I see that Tohsaka's face flush bright red. Damn, I shouldn't have added that last part. Now she's pissed. Even if she believes me, she might fire a Gandr Shot out of spite. I wonder if she's even aware of the irony that she'd only be proving my point.

"A-Anyway, let's get going, okay Tohsaka?" I insist before she can lash out at me. "I already promised I won't betray you and you have Archer for insurance. Besides, even if I'm a little better than you thought, you're still a much better magus than me and could take care of me just by yourself, right? I'm fine even if you want to call me a hostage. I know I'm no match for you."

I inwardly sigh in relief as my words seem to placate her.

"F-fine," she stutters. Her face is still red but she isn't glaring at me anymore. "As long as you understand who's in charge of the situation."

…did she get embarrassed from my praise? Rin can certainly be a handful at times, but reactions like that remind me of how cute she can be.

Of course, even I'm not stupid enough to voice that thought aloud.

I head back up the stairs and am able to hold in my smile until I've walked past her. I almost reach the top before I notice she isn't following me. I turn and look at her questioningly.

"Aren't you coming, Tohsaka?"

She looks at me with a complex expression that I'm well acquainted with by now. It means she's impressed with me for a less than flattering reason.

"Okay, I believe that you're really Emiya-kun," she sighs in defeat. "Only a hopelessly good-natured idiot like you would turn his back on an enemy without a second thought."

It's a backhanded compliment that's really more of an insult, but I smile all the same. It's a relief to know that Tohsaka is still the prickly, proud, yet kind girl I've come to care for, even if she's not "my" Tohsaka.

"W-what are you grinning at?" she demands, growing even more flustered.

I relish her self-conscious reaction. Come to think of it, this situation might be fun for me because I already know all of her weaknesses, but she doesn't know mine yet.

"Nothing," I say wistfully, remembering how clumsy we both were with our feelings back then… and still are, really.

Well, it'll be fun getting a sort of revenge for all the times Rin teased me, but we have serious matters to attend to first.

That's right… I was being stupid. This was neither the time nor the place to be playing around.

I take a last look at the hellish room at the base of the stairs. I imagine Sakura being violated by the filthy, writhing worms. I can see Zouken, though I don't know what he looks like. He is a decrepit, misshapen old man with black, soulless eyes. He uses those eyes to calmly observe his adopted granddaughter being raped by those disgusting creatures and doesn't lift a finger when she cries out in agony and begs for mercy, for an end.

I clench a fist.

Even after all the warnings from "my" Tohsaka not to interfere, there's no way I can look away and pretend I didn't see any of these things anymore. Paradoxes be damned. If I turn my back now, then that's the same as abandoning my ideal. If I have to sacrifice my existence to uphold it, then so be it. An Emiya Shirou who has thrown away his ideal doesn't deserve to exist.

The doubt evaporates from my mind.

"Let's leave this awful place, Tohsaka," I say softly.

She stares blankly at me for a moment, but then shakes her head as if waking from a daze. She nods once in a swift, curt motion and follows me up the stairs. Unlike me, she doesn't look back. She doesn't have to. It's impossible not to hear the sound of the worms or taste the decay in the air. Even when we're clear of the Matou household and begin our trek uphill back to Tohsaka's home, the phantom scent of rotting flesh lingers with me. Tohsaka, Archer, and I walk in silence, each probably preoccupied by our own thoughts.

Tohsaka unlatches the front door when we reach her mansion. Without even thinking, I remove my jacket and place it on the coat rack near the door out of habit. I feel Tohsaka's eyes on me.

"So? I'm waiting for that explanation you promised me."

I turn to her and nod. "I know. Like I said, though, it's a long story. Maybe some tea before we start?"

I make the suggestion less out of courtesy and more because I'm eager to wash the taste of bile from my mouth.

Tohsaka explodes. "Who's house do you think this is? If you want tea, then go make it yourself!"

I just look at her and shrug. "Okay."

I make my way to the pantry and rummage around until I find the particular tea Rin enjoys. It's an exotic Chinese leaf that I've become rather partial to, myself. As I prepare the hot water, I look and her out of the corner of my eye and see that her mouth is agape with incredulity. Even if she suggested it, I doubt she expected me to actually make tea. Stifling a chuckle, I take out the tea set we always use a few minutes later I'm pouring her a cup. Of course, I don't bother offering Archer anything.

The look on Tohsaka's face is priceless. She just stares at her cup without drinking it. I take a seat on the comforter across from her and start to sip at my own cup.

Hmm. I did a pretty good job. Even Tohsaka can't complain if it tastes that good.

"Are you insane? Don't barge into another person's house and start acting like you own the place!"

I weather her tantrum while desperately trying to contain a fit of laughter just aching to burst from my stomach.

"Wait. How did you even know where I keep it? It's like you already knew where everything is."

…that's because I do, Tohsaka. I can hardly be your apprentice without getting familiar with your workshop, can I? Gosh, this is even more fun than I thought it would be.

"Never mind that," I say. "You should hurry and take a sip. It won't taste as good if it gets cold."

She opens her mouth to yell at me again, but seems to think better of it. Her cup draws level with her eyes as she squints at it suspiciously.

"I didn't poison it," I tell her, reading her thoughts. "I'm drinking it too, aren't I? Besides, you watched me the whole time I was making it."

Tohsaka glares at me so intensely I'm surprised that I don't burst into flames. I just smile at her pleasantly. It feels so great with the shoe being on the other foot.

"Fine. Then give me yours," she says. It's somewhat paranoid of her, but she still suspects I might be an enemy, after all.

"Sure," I say with a shrug and offer her my cup. I exchange it with the one I gave her and take a sip to prove I didn't poison it.

She frowns at me but finally draws the cup to her lips. Her eyes widen. "It's good," she blurts out.

"Isn't it, though?" I say with a laugh. I wait until she takes a longer sip before I spring the final trap. "Incidentally, Tohsaka, isn't that what you'd call an indirect kiss?"

The tea comes spraying out of her mouth, as expected. I take a mental photograph and file it away in my mind to enjoy later at my leisure.

"W-what are you saying, you idiot?"

Tohsaka slams her cup on the table and leaps to her feet, rolling up her sleeve. Her Magic Crest glows faintly. It isn't fully activated like it was before, which means she's only threatening me. But I know Tohsaka well enough to be aware she always makes good on her threats if you provoke her.

I probably went too far with that finishing blow.

"S-sorry," I say as I bow my head to her, only because she might blow me away unless I start acting with a little more humility. Pushing her this far was completely worth it, though. I have no regrets, even if I die right then and there.

"You've had your tea, so start talking," Tohsaka growls. She doesn't lower her arm.

I take a breath and nod before looking her straight in the eye. I had my fun. Now I have to make good on my promise.

"Tohsaka," I begin, forcing my voice to take on a serious tone. "What do you know about The Fifth Magic?"

She frowns at me and her brow furrows. "Um… time manipulation, right? It's one of the five sorceries. But what does…"

Her voice trails off and there's astonishment in her eyes. "No way…"

"That's right, Tohsaka," I confirm happily. "I'm from the future." I pause for a second. "No, that's not quite right. I should really say I'm from 'a' future."

I take another mental photograph. Ah… priceless.


	2. Master and Apprentice

**Fate/indubitanter**

**Chapter 1 - Master and Apprentice**

…_and so Saber used her Noble Phantasm to destroy the Grail and the war was finally over. Anyway, both Saber and Archer disappeared from this world after that and our days returned to normal._

_Hmm? You want to know what happened to them? Well, Saber disappeared right away. Between her Noble Phantasm and the magical energy I borrowed from you in my fight against Gilgamesh, you probably didn't have enough left to sustain her._

_What do I mean by "borrowed"? Oh, uh… I left out that part, didn't I? Er… you and I sort of… formed a contract. Yeah, "that" contract. Hey, don't activate your Magic Crest again! You think I would joke about that? Look, if and when you meet Rin, please don't mention it. She'll be pissed enough that I told you anything about our timeline, much less our private affairs._

_H-have we done it again since then? Shut up, Archer! None of your damn business!_

_Okay, question time is over! Just listen, okay? I'm not done yet._

_Ahem._

_So after that, I became your apprentice. It was mostly in name only at the time because the war took a lot out of both of us, and not just physically. I think after all that we just wanted to relax and live like normal high school students for a little while. A month passed quickly and before we knew it, it was the day of the closing ceremony. That afternoon, you asked me to come to the Mage's Association in London with you after we both graduated the next year…_

* * *

"…you idiot. Don't ask me such an obvious question."

My face is on fire, but I somehow manage to look Tohsaka in the eye and give her my honest answer. Her figure is like a silhouette that has somehow sprung to life and even the dazzling rays of the setting sun behind her seem dull and drab in comparison.

"Okay, then please give me your best regards from now on, Emiya-kun. I'm going to train you until you become a proper magus, so prepare yourself."

I nod and look down at her shoes. It's too hard for me to keep staring at her face. "…same to you. I took that seriously. I'm going to get taught by you until I become a proper magus."

"Of course. I'm going to make you an honest man and have you lead a happy life. I won't allow you to give up just by getting taken to London."

She jumps off her desk and I look up again. After dusting off her skirt, she picks up her book bag and heads towards the classroom door. "Well, there's no rest for the weary. Let's head to my house. Spring break starts today and we shouldn't waste any time."

I blink a few times and it takes me a while to register her words.

Um… where did that nice atmosphere from a few seconds ago disappear to?

"You mean we're starting my training already?" I blurt incredulously. "Now?"

Tohsaka looks back at me from the corner of her eye. "Obviously. I only have a year to whip you into decent shape before we go to London. If you aren't up to par by then, it'll reflect badly on me as your master. We have to take advantage of the time off from school since we won't be able to do as much when we're busy with our studies."

I feel like groaning, but settle for a sigh. I guess I'm not really surprised, but Tohsaka hasn't changed at all. Oh well, I like that part about her too.

…I must be a masochist.

"It's Apprentice Emiya Shirou reporting for duty then, I suppose," I say wryly. "But I'm not going to call you 'Master' so if you had any funny ideas like that, forget it, Tohsaka."

"That's fine, Shirou," she says and then turns and winks at me. "Just call me Rin."

My face heats up again. There's no way I can do that. It's way too soon for that. I need more time.

It seems I'm off the hook for now, though, because Tohsaka is already at the door. Unable to say anything else, I just follow her home. We walk in silence, but it's pleasant somehow. The warmth of the spring sun feels nice on my back.

Tohsaka pauses when we reach her front door. "Oh, in case I forget, remind me to get you a copy of my house key."

She says it so boldly that I forget to be embarrassed for a few seconds. After recovering, I blurt, "WHAT?"

"Why are you so shocked?" she asks me, looking genuinely confused. "You can't be my apprentice unless I give you a key to my workshop."

"But this is your house!" I protest. "And you're a girl! I can't have a key to a girl's house! That's like handing your mugger a loaded gun!"

"Huh?" Tohsaka says. "What are you talking about? Your analogy doesn't even make sense. I don't get what you're so concerned about."

"What's not to get?" I exclaim. "You're a girl! Don't go recklessly handing out the keys to your house to a guy!"

Tohsaka just stares at me, blinking owlishly. Then that evil grin I've come to loathe creeps up on her face. "Wow, you're still like that even after we-"

"Don't say it!" I interrupt her. "You're a girl, so have some shame!"

"Calm down, Shirou. What are you so flustered ab…" Her voices trails off. Suddenly her faces reddens like a tomato and she screams at me, "YOU IDIOT! I wasn't talking about THAT! I meant after all we've been through together, how can you still be so nervous around me!"

I shake my head. "Huh? B-but I thought…"

"PERVERT!" she screams loudly enough that people in the next town over probably heard her. "I'm not shameless! Th-that still embarrasses me, too! Why did you have to bring it up!"

She runs into her house and slams the door behind her. A second later there's an audible click.

"Go home, Shirou! We'll start the training tomorrow instead!"

Oh crap. Um… wow. I think I set a new record for my own stupidity. What the hell was I thinking? Of course Tohsaka found that just as embarrassing as me. She wasn't even thinking about it and I had to overreact like an idiot-moron-dumbass and remind her.

Ugh, I'm so clumsy with girls. Actually, no, scratch that. I'm okay with Sakura, after all. I guess I'm just clumsy with Tohsaka. Can I really help that, though? Isn't it natural for a guy to be nervous around the girl he likes?

…well, I guess I should head home now that things are like this. I'm starting to get funny looks from passersby.

* * *

I get a telephone call from Tohsaka the next morning, about an hour before noon.

"I'm coming over. Have food ready," she says simply before hanging up. I can't even get a word in edgewise. There she goes, deciding things on her own again. Her selfishness knows no bounds.

…so why am I already heading to the kitchen? Am I so spineless that I have to indulge her every whim?

That's it. I refuse. I'm her apprentice, not her maid. I have to put my foot down somewhere or she'll just walk all over me. I turn around in defiance, plant myself on my favorite cushion, and enjoy watching the birds out in the yard. Some time later, the doorbell rings.

I steel myself, rise to my feet, and answer the door. It's Tohsaka, of course and she's wearing normal clothes. I've seen it many times by now, but her long-sleeved red shirt, short black skirt, and long black stockings that draw the eye to her shapely legs are just a deadly triple threat. It's unfair for her to wear that! I call foul! Yellow card! Yellow card!

"Good morning, Emiya-kun," she greets me curtly in a clipped tone.

Her cool attitude makes me forget to be embarrassed and I suddenly regret not preparing lunch. "Um… you're not still mad about yesterday, are you Tohsaka?"

She looks at me coolly. "Mad? Why should I be mad? Can I come in?"

I'm a bit put off with how aloof she's acting, but invite her inside. She says she's not mad, but I don't think I believe her.

"Is lunch ready?" she asks as she brushes past me.

"Um… no," I admit reluctantly. I marvel at my own stupidity. I thought the incident from yesterday would just blow over after a good night's rest but I guess I was just being insensitive to Tohsaka. And now I blew my chance to smooth things over with a nice meal.

"I see," Tohsaka says. I expect to detect enmity leaking for her, but it isn't there. Has she ever been this cold to me before? I think I really pissed her off on a whole new level this time. "Hey, didn't I ask you to call me 'Rin' yesterday?"

My face heats up. "It's too sudden! You have to give me more time!"

I see a landscape of frozen tundra in her eyes. Damn it, I'm just making things worse. I have to do something to appease her.

"Tohsaka? Um… I'm really sorry about yesterday," I say honestly.

She shoots me a disinterested glance. "No, you aren't, Shirou."

I start to seriously worry I've done something really bad that I won't be able to fix when the ice finally breaks.

Tohsaka flashes one of the many deadly smiles in her arsenal. It's the one that makes her opponent feel an invisible pressure that completely robs them of the will to fight back.

"You're not sorry, Shirou… but you will be. Let's go to the dojo. We can work up an appetite together."

I'm not sure how to react. She's starting to act more like normal, and it's an improvement over getting the cold shoulder but… I'm still kind of worried. I've seen Tohsaka get angry lots of times, but she's never done anything like this before. I don't really know what to do, so I end up following her to the dojo without argument.

When we step inside, she takes out the two black ribbons she always wears in her hair and ties it into a bun. It somehow makes her look even more formidable. She's still elegant of course. Has she ever been anything but? Only now there's an edge of steel that wasn't there before, something hard and sharp rather than soft and beautiful.

No… it was probably always there, but I was too entranced by her other charms to notice.

"You're a real chauvinist, you know, Shirou?" she says suddenly. "Getting so worked over such a silly thing yesterday."

Silly? I bristle at the accusation. "I was just raised to have certain values! Maybe you think it's silly, but I don't."

"You don't think it's silly that you accepted apprenticeship with me but you won't even let me give you a key to my workshop?"

Her ruthless logic steals some of the wind from my sails. "Maybe when you put it like that," I admit.

"There's no maybe about it," Tohsaka snaps. "You seem to be hung up on the fact that I'm a girl, Shirou."

"Well you are, aren't you? You're definitely not a guy, even if you act like it sometimes, so it's natural for me to see you as a girl!"

I expect her to retaliate to my "acting like a guy" comment, but her cool expression doesn't change. I'm definitely missing something, here. Tohsaka should have a meltdown over something like that.

"I'm a girl," she agrees smoothly. "But I'm a magus _first_. I'm the heir to the Tohsaka family _first_. And now I'm your master _first_, as well. We'll be working together closely from now on. If you can't accept those facts, then the situation yesterday was only the tip of the iceberg. It's a big problem and we need to resolve it. I don't want to revoke your apprenticeship, so instead I'll cut you a deal."

I nod slowly. I agree it's a problem and I'm glad she's still willing to let me be her apprentice, but I'm suspicious of this "deal" she mentioned.

Feeling no small amount of trepidation, I ask, "What did you have in mind?"

"We'll have a match to prove who's right," Tohsaka declares. "I realize by now that your weird, alien brain is immune to things like rationality and compromise. Emiya Shirou is a guy who only knows how to communicate with his fists, so I'm challenging you to your own game. We'll duel and the winner has to listen to the loser. Simple enough?"

I frown at her proposition. Ignoring the part about my alien brain… am I really the type of guy who can only express himself through fighting? I know I can be clumsy with words sometimes, but I don't think I'm as bad as Tohsaka thinks.

"Um, Tohsaka, can't we just talk this out?"

"Will you accept the key to my workshop?"

"No, I can't do that."

"See? Reasoning with you using words is impossible. The only way to make you see sense is to beat it into you. It's not like fighting is my first choice either, but you're too stubborn to even meet me halfway. Giving you my key isn't just about letting you into my house. It's symbolic of the trust between master and apprentice. I wouldn't just take anyone, you know. I'm putting a lot of faith in you but you're trampling all over my good will by refusing to accept it."

The pit of my stomach balls into a knot. Geez, I feel like a real lowlife when she puts it like that. Even so, I can't abandon my morals so easily.

"I just can't do it, Tohsaka. This is how I was raised. I can't betray my ideals."

Tohsaka places her hands on her hips and sighs. "That's why I'm challenging you to a duel. Like I said, the winner has to obey the loser. Even if you hate it, I know you'd never break a promise. It's not like I'm doing this on a whim. I considered all the options, and this is the only thing I know you'd go along with."

"That's assuming I accept your challenge," I point out.

"You will," my would be opponent says frankly. It isn't a threat. Her tone has no heat to it and tells me she believes her statement to be irrevocable fact.

"And what makes you so sure of that?" I ask.

Tohsaka clucks her tongue. "Tut tut, Shirou. You think I don't know you well enough by now? Your pride as a man won't let you refuse. I'm questioning the validity of your values and making an honorable challenge. You have no choice but to defend your beliefs because if you don't, then that's like admitting defeat and I win by default."

I stare at Tohsaka, slack-jawed. I knew she was good at reading people, particularly me, but it's like she can really divine my thoughts. I can't deny her claims at all.

What the hell? This girl is the bane of my existence. It's like I'm just a puppet dancing to her strings.

"Hold on!" I protest wildly. "Maybe that's true, but what about the format of the duel? If it's magic, you know I can't win. All I can do is projection and reinforcement."

"Of course we won't use magic," Tohsaka scoffs. "If we did that and went all out against each other, we'd probably end up leveling your house. Besides, I wouldn't pick something that I'm better at than you are. If I did that, then you wouldn't really acknowledge your defeat. Why do you think we came to the dojo? You're confident with swords, right? We'll use shinai to settle this. That way there won't be any doubt in your mind when I win."

I'm impressed but can't tell if it's because of her confidence or her insanity.

"Tohsaka, that just imbalances things the other way," I say. "You've never trained in kendo. There's no meaning if I beat you."

"Exactly!" she chirps. "Even if you win, you won't be able to bring yourself to enforce our agreement because of my handicap. If I win, it'll be such a humiliating upset that you can't complain no matter how unreasonable my demands are. So no matter what the result, I lose nothing!"

…unbelievable. She really thought out every angle, didn't she? There's just one flaw.

"So why should I fight you if I have nothing to gain?"

"It's not what you have to gain," Tohsaka says with a cheeky grin. "It's what you have to lose. Can you really throw away your pride by not accepting my challenge? I already told you it's like letting me win by default."

I shake my head. "Forget it. If it's clear I'm going to win, then the shame of me beating a defenseless opponent outweighs the shame of backing down."

Tohsaka rounds on me with cold lightning in her eyes. "Hey! Don't take me lightly! All modern magi learn self-defense. You were there when I almost killed Caster with my bare hands. I won't be using reinforcement magic this time, but I have confidence in my skills even without it. You might have the advantage, but I'm definitely not helpless. Underestimate me and I'll make sure you regret it, Shirou."

It's clear that she's deadly serious about dueling me. Every excuse I've come up with has been shot down. She must have put a lot of thought into it. This isn't a joke to her or some spur of the moment improvisation. I can't possibly refuse when she's being so earnest.

"Fine!" I growl in frustration. "I accept! But since you're the challenger, I get to set the terms. It'll be a sudden death match; the first person to land a single hit on their opponent wins. Is that fine with you?"

I set rules that ensure the duel will be as short as possible. I plan to go easy on her in the first place, but I don't want to risk hurting Tohsaka by accident in a prolonged match.

"That's perfect. Do your worst, Shirou. It'll end badly for you if you don't."

She's bluffing, but I humor her anyway. "We'll see about that. I won't lose when it comes to swords, Tohsaka."

She smiles at me, but this time it's one I don't recognize. Her features are soft and delicate, yet simultaneously fierce and merciless. She seems to be teasing me and warning me at the same time.

"That's exactly why you're going to lose, Shirou. This isn't a battle between swords at all."

Her expression isn't threatening, at least not nearly as threatening as I'm used to seeing, but I find myself unnerved. I quickly shake it off. She's just trying to intimidate me and I won't let her.

Without another word, I retrieve two shinai that Fuji-nee and I use in our spars and hand one to Tohsaka. She holds it awkwardly as if gripping a baseball bat. It probably feels natural to do so, but the proper kendo grip places both hands on almost opposite sides of the hilt. The "V" formed by the curled index fingers and thumbs must line up in the center along the vertical axis of the blade. Though it may feel clumsy and unnatural at first, it allows maximum angular leverage for control and speed of one's swings.

I've been practicing with Fuji-nee for years. There's no way I'll lose to an amateur who doesn't even know how to grip their blade. Nonetheless, I walk to my starting position and turn to face my opponent. We bow and the match begins.

Neither of us moves at first. Tohsaka looks like she's trying to size me up, but for me I'm just worried about the tantrum she'll throw when I win before she even gets a chance to do anything. I'll just wait until she comes at me and end the match with a counterattack.

Finally she makes her move and charges. She's faster than I expected, but it doesn't matter. When she nears, her arc swings wide and I easily parry it. I aim at her open left side to put an end to this farce. Ordinarily I'd have to call my target, in this case "hidari-do", for the strike to be counted but there's little point to that in our informal match.

My shinai closes in swift as the wind, but Tohsaka backsteps at the last second and I swing at empty air. I look at her face and see her smirking at me. Her eyes are saying, _Is that all? I thought you were better than that._

Hmph. I guess I may have underestimated her a little, but that's nothing for her to get so cocky over.

She backs away, more leery of me this time. Her ki doesn't waver, however, which I'll admit impresses me. "Ki" is the embodiment of a person's spiritual energy, and I suppose can be interpreted as a "combat aura". It encompasses everything: balance, posture, gait, and even where the eyes are looking. Tohsaka's ki tells me that she is free of doubt. She seriously believes she can win.

"I'll give you credit for spirit," I tell her.

"Spirit shmirit," she retorts. "Who needs such a useless thing? I'd rather have skill."

"That's ironic, considering you don't have any," I reply dryly. Sure, Tohsaka has me beat on most points, but now I'm in my element and she isn't. The tables have turned and for once I'm the one who gets to rub my superiority in her face.

"My little apprentice has quite a sassy mouth," Tohsaka comments.

"First of all, I'm bigger than you," I complain. "And secondly, who do you think I got it from?"

Tohsaka smiles. "So that's how it is, huh? Well I've learned a thing or two from you as well, Shirou. I guess even idiots can have admirable qualities."

As usual, I can't tell if she's trying to insult or praise me. "Oh? What qualities are those?"

She answers with her sword. Charging headlong again, she closes the distance between us even faster than last time and the extra momentum makes her blow much heavier. Our shinai meet with a loud _clack_ and I feel some slight strain as I push her back. I probably could have dodged but it feels wrong not to meet a chivalrous frontal assault.

"I'll only tell you after you admit defeat!" Tohsaka declares.

"Not a chance!" I snap back. "I'll just make you tell me after I win! Loser has to listen to the winner, right? Get ready to sing my praises, Tohsaka!"

I switch to the offensive and step forward. My target is her right wrist. My blade arcs through the air and… misses. Tohsaka twirls away so lightly it's like she's dancing on water.

I miscalculated. Even though Tohsaka's kendo technique is terrible, her martial arts training makes her light on her feet. I won't lose if it comes to power, but she's faster than me. I stare at my opponent as if seeing her for the first time.

"Finally ready to start taking this seriously, Shirou?" she teases.

I compose myself and shrug. "Where'd you get that idea? You just surprised me a little. I'll end things with the next blow."

Tohsaka doesn't reply. Her face is tight with concentration again. She knows one misstep will be the end of her.

I take a breath and find my center. The match is starting to get away from me and I need to calm myself. If I allow my enemy to set the pace and fall to frustration, I'll lose even the matches I should win.

I step forward and aim for her wrist again. I'm about to find my target when my shinai is deflected.

"What? That's all?" Tohsaka complains while looking bored. "I've been wasting energy by dodging if your blows are that soft. Stop holding back and put some oomph into it. I already said you'll regret it if you underestimate me."

As if to prove her point, she tightens her grip and swings at my head. I can tell by the arc that's it's going to miss so I don't bother moving. I'm about to use the opportunity to counterattack when a burst of wind rushes towards my face causing me to flinch reflexively. Tohsaka is smirking at me when I open my eyes.

"What the hell?" I exclaim. "You made a shockwave from the force of your swing? What are you, a monster? Not even Saber did that in our spars!"

Tohsaka frowns. "Don't you remember when we went to the batting cages? Saber was weaker than both of us if she didn't use her magical energy. The reason she beat you so badly when you sparred was because her technique was superior. If she used her full powers against you, I'd be leaving flowers at your grave right now. My case is the opposite. I don't have any technique so I have to pull out all the stops and go full force to have a chance."

"Do you see now, Shirou? You could easily have won by now if you took the match seriously. But you've been holding back because I'm a girl and you're afraid of hurting me. I told you this isn't a battle with swords. All I need to do to win is make you acknowledge me as a worthy opponent. The second I force you to throw away your outdated male chauvinism and fight me as an equal, I win. Even if you score the winning hit, it won't matter so long as that happens."

She raises her arm and points her shinai at me. "So what'll it be, Emiya-kun? Are you going to stop holding back or are you fine with losing to a girl?"

I'm momentarily speechless. Tohsaka set me up from the very beginning. She trapped me in a scenario where no matter what the outcome, I lose.

There's no use complaining about it. Even with her strategy revealed, I can't go all out against Tohsaka. I'll just have to prove that for all her cleverness, she was the one who underestimated me. I'll win without compromising my moral code, even if she thinks its "outdated". I make a cut at her left side.

She dances away.

"Hmph," Tohsaka snorts with derision. "Still being stubborn? I should've expected as much from you. That's fine. It wouldn't be any fun if you caved in too easily."

"Oh yeah? Well same to you, Tohsaka. I don't like easy prizes, either."

Our swords clash again. It's another stalemate. Tohsaka doesn't have the skill to land a proper hit, but enough to put the pressure on me so long as I hold back. She won't win at this rate, but neither will I.

The duel continues in silence from that point forward apart from the _clack_ of bamboo against bamboo. Words are empty, and each breath wasted only adds to our rapidly accumulating fatigue. I cut and she parries. I counterattack and she dodges. Neither of us gives up any ground and neither of us gains any. The pattern repeats ad nauseum.

It's vexing and yet…

"That's a nice expression, Shirou," Tohsaka suddenly says even as sweat dribbles down her brow.

I don't understand what she means. I feel my face. My skin is wet and sticky, but my cheek muscles are taut and my lips have parted.

I'm smiling.

Why am I smiling? This fight is ridiculous. It's just two stubborn kids who are too pigheaded to admit they're wrong. It's pointless and the only thing at stake is our pride, yet we're treating it like a desperate battle for our very lives. This duel is just an exercise in frustration and even when it finally ends, neither of us will be satisfied no matter what the outcome.

…so why? Why is a part of me thinking, "this is fun"?

I see Tohsaka smiling, too. Unlike usual, it's pure and carefree. It's a refreshing smile that makes me think the haggard, sweating girl gasping for breath in front of me is more beautiful than I've ever seen her before.

"This is fine too, don't you think, Shirou?" she says with a rich, deep-throated laugh. "It isn't what I expected, but it's not bad."

She thrusts at me again and I swat it aside. Both of our movements are sluggish and I can't even tell if I'm holding back anymore or not. It doesn't even matter. My goal has changed. I don't care about winning. I just want to keep having fun with the girl that I like.

"…this is good, too," I agree, swinging another counterstrike only for it to be evaded again.

Our blows become clumsier the more exhaustion sets in, but still our silly contest continues. Maybe neither of us cares about winning anymore, but we both hate losing.

"You're looking awfully tired, Tohsaka," I heave breathlessly. "Don't you feel like taking a rest?"

"I could keep going for another week," she replies defiantly, looking like she might collapse at any moment.

And so it goes on until the sharp _clacks_ of our shinai have become dull _thuds_. Tohsaka has hers planted into the ground and she's leaning on it like a cane. My vision is starting to blur and I see two of her.

"How about… huff… a truce, Tohsaka?" I propose at last.

"Giving up?" she wheezes.

"No," I say. I'm too tired to even shake my head. "I'm saying… huff… we call this match a draw."

Relief washes over her face and I can tell she's as eager as I am to end things. "Well… I guess I can accept that… but I have one condition."

I roll my eyes. Of course she does. "What is it, Tohsaka?" I ask in resignation. I'm willing to indulge her if its reasonable.

"From now on, you have to call me Rin."

It's a surprisingly innocent request and I don't have the energy to protest or be embarrassed this time. "Deal," I groan and collapse to the ground. My opponent joins me shortly thereafter. We lie with our backs on the ground gasping for breath. I stare at the ceiling, wondering how long its been since our match started. An hour or an eternity, it could easily have been either one.

"That was fun, wasn't it, Shirou?" my worthy foe says at last.

"Yeah," I agree with a half-sigh. "Yeah, it was… Rin."

I can't remember why I was shy about calling her by that name before. It feels so natural on my lips. The name of the girl I like…

"Rin." I say her name again. I think I enjoy the taste of it.

"Hmm?"

"Um… if you're still okay with it, I'll accept that key."

"Oh?" she says. There's no surprise in her tone, as if she was accepting an inevitable outcome. "Why the change of heart?"

"I just felt like it," I mutter offhandedly. "There's no deep meaning to it or anything."

"A mood swing, huh?" Rin laughs. "And I'm supposed to be the girl, here?"

"You're incorrigible," I groan.

"…said the pot to the kettle," she retorts. Then she laughs again. "That's fine, though. You should be like this. You're a blockhead, but you're fine the way you are."

"You stole my line," I complain, but I laugh too. Yeah… just as Rin accepts me for who I am, I like her for who she is.

Again, I must be a masochist…

I hear a scraping sound and then footsteps. Rin comes into view and she leans over me. She's let her hair down again and it drapes over her shoulders like fine, flowing silk. She holds a hand out to me.

"Come on, Shirou. I'll help you with lunch. It's more fun to make together, right?"

I nod, clasping her hand.

"Yeah… it's more fun together…"

* * *

_I guess you could say that was our first lesson, only I think we both learned something- about ourselves, and about each other. To be honest, half of me always admired you and felt inferior, and the other half only saw you as a girl who needed me to protect her. That might have been the first time I started to look at you as an equal._

_After our match, we ate lunch and chatted about meaningless things for a while and then we went back to your workshop for my first real magic lesson. It sure didn't seem like it at first, though._

* * *

"Shirou, take off your shirt."

Rin makes a ridiculous request of me. We're in her room. I'm sitting on her bed. Obviously, there's only one way for me to react.

"WHAT! Why?"

She frowns and looks at me in irritation.

"I want to check your Magic Circuits. We should have done this a while ago, but the need hasn't been urgent since you haven't used magic for the past month. But this is definitely the first necessary step before we do anything else for your training."

Oh, so she wasn't… never mind. "You think something might be wrong?" I ask.

"Maybe," Rin admits. "It goes back to your first projection. Your left arm went numb, right?"

"Yeah," I confirm with a nod. It happened that night in our first fight with Caster and Kuzuki-sensei. "But Archer helped me out with that and it was fine after the next day."

"I know," Rin says. "He mentioned it briefly. He said you activated a Magic Circuit that had gone dormant because you never used it and it was your body getting used to the sudden addition to your nervous system. It didn't really occur to me at the time, but now I have to ask: how did you use magic before then without a Magic Circuit?"

"I made one," I answer with a shrug.

Rin stares blankly at me. "Made one? What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Exactly what it sounds like," I reply, confused by Rin's reaction. She's a legitimate magus, unlike me. Shouldn't she know these things already?

She narrows her eyes at me. "Describe to me how you 'made' a Magic Circuit."

Still not knowing what she's getting at, I tell her about my training. Every night for eight years, I practiced it my shed, the dangerous art of magic that felt like inserting a burning metal rod into my backbone.

When I finish, Rin is seething. "You… you IDIOT! You turned your SPINAL CORD into a Magic Circuit! It's a miracle you're still alive!"

"I did _what?_"

"Unbelievable!" Rin continues to rant. "How are you not dead by now? Don't you realize how incredibly dangerous that is? Every time you 'made' a Magic Circuit, you were really jury-rigging a nerve, the most important nerve in your body for crying out loud! That's all a Magic Circuit is: a specialized nerve for regulating the flow of prana. You didn't actually 'make' anything. You 'changed' a nerve that already existed to take on a new function."

"Oh," I blurt. "That sounds… dangerous."

"It IS dangerous! VERY dangerous! You have no idea how lucky you are! You really trained like that every night for eight years?"

"Yeah. Every night at midnight."

"Midnight?" Rin parrots and then pauses, her tirade apparently put on hold. "Maybe luck isn't the only reason you're alive. Midnight is probably the time of day when your magical energy is most potent." She sighs. "But seriously, midnight? How cliché can you get?"

It sounds like she's making fun of me. "Oh yeah? When is your peak, then?"

"Me?" Rin asks. "Mine is two o'clock in the morning. That's the time I performed the summoning ritual for my Servant, or I meant to, anyway… Somehow the clocks in my house got all messed up and I started it an hour early. It was a mess. I ended up botching the whole thing and my living room got wrecked when I summoned Archer."

I fight the urge to laugh at Rin's admission. She's usually really reliable, but she has a habit of screwing up when it counts the most.

"Ugh, we're getting off track. I won't say anything more about it, but NEVER 'make' a Magic Circuit again. Your natural ones exist for a purpose, so use them. You can switch them on and off, right?"

I nod. "Yeah, I could ever since that night I used projection against Kuzuki-sensei."

"Good. Then I won't have to feed you one of my jewels."

I blink. "What? What do you mean feed-"

Rin ignores me. "Go ahead and take your shirt off now. I want to check how many Circuits you have and if there are any more dormant ones."

I really don't know whether I should be happy or disappointed that Rin can order me to strip with a straight face, but I reluctantly obey. I'd be wasting my breath arguing with her, and she's already seen me topless from treating my wounds and… that other thing I'm going to stop thinking about right now before I blow a gasket.

"Ahhhhh!"

"Oh, hush, you big baby. My hands aren't that cold."

"You have the bedside manner of a wolverine!" I hiss. Not cold? I don't think so. What did she do, dip her hands in liquid nitrogen?

"Just hold still," Rin snaps. "I can't do this properly with you squirming around."

I obey only when the blizzard buffeting my back subsides.

"Good. Now brace yourself. This might hurt a little."

Searing, gut-wrenching pain assaults my senses. It feels like acid is eating away my insides. My vision blurs, not because I feel dizzy or lightheaded, but because I can't hold back the tears. My consciousness starts to fade and the world becomes midnight, when it finally stops. I regain my senses and find myself staring up at the ceiling. Rin kneels over me with an apologetic look on her face. She dabs something cool to my forehead and I briefly eye a washcloth as she sets it aside.

"Sorry, Shirou. I didn't think it would be that bad."

I grunt and try to sit up. Aside from a few aches, the pain is gone. I'm about to initiate a tirade when I see Rin hanging her head, eyes downcast.

"…don't worry about it," I sigh. I can't get mad at her if she's genuinely remorseful like that. "How about telling me what just happened?"

Rin nods and helps me to my feet. I don't remember falling from the bed. A hand guides me back to the plush surface and the person that hands belongs to sits beside me.

"Well, how should I put this?" she says hesitantly. "I have good news and bad news. The good news is that you have more Magic Circuits than I thought. Twenty-seven, to be exact."

I stare at her. The number is meaningless to me. "Is that a lot?"

Rin chews on her cheek. "Mmm… for someone who isn't from a lineage of magi, it is. Your average magus has roughly twenty natural Magic Circuits, give or take. Generally speaking, the number increases with your family history but there are a few exceptions, like the Matous. To give you better context, I have forty Magic Circuits, not counting the ones in my Magic Crest. Twenty-seven is pretty impressive for a regular guy like you. If you'd been taught magic from when you were born, you'd probably be an above average magus by now."

"Really?" I ask excitedly. I thought I never had a chance of competing with legitimate magi like Rin, but it doesn't sound like there's much of a difference between twenty-seven and forty. She even said I have a few more than the average magus. Then I remember Rin's reticence and my enthusiasm wanes. "So what's the bad news, then?"

Rin folds her hands and looks down. "Right, the bad news. Well, it looks like only two of your Circuits were opened, the ones that made your arm go numb. The other twenty-five were inactive. Do you remember how I said it's dangerous to tamper with your body now that it's almost fully developed? I forced some prana into the inactive circuits to open them without really thinking about that."

"Wait," I protest. "You sent _your_ odo into _my_ body? No wonder I blacked out from the pain!"

Prana, the power that fuels magic, comes from two sources: mana and odo. Mana exists in nature and is produced by the world itself. Odo is the life force of living organisms, which all creatures possess. Normal humans have it too; they just can't convert it into prana to do magic.

Odo is unique for every living creature and trying to insert your own odo into something or someone else is like doing a transfusion with incompatible blood types. The body will reject foreign odo like a poison, which must have been the source of the pain I felt. I can't believe Rin would be so irresponsible!

"That's not it," Rin denies. I think I see a blush creeping up her neck. "It's not a problem for you and me. Our contract…"

Oh, that's right. Rin and I connected our Magic Circuits so I could use her prana in my fight against Gilgamesh. I guess that means her prana and mine should be compatible as a result. Ha, how did I forget that little… detail…

Oh crap. CRAP. I've been trying so hard no to think about that, so what am I doing thinking about it? Come on, Shirou, think unsexy thoughts! Think unsexy thoughts! Don't even glance at Rin right now! Don't focus on that fact that the two of you are alone in her bedroom!

Damn my healthy male libido! This isn't the time!

I hear the sound of a throat clearing. "A-anyway, like I was saying about your Magic Circuits…"

"Right!" I agree with a yelp, staring dead on at the wall in front of me. I'm not conscious of the beautiful girl on the bed next to me at all. Nope. Not. At. All. "My Magic Circuits! What about them?"

"Um… yeah. They're in bad shape. You haven't used them for seventeen years so they've wasted away like atrophied muscles. It was a massive shock to your nervous system just realizing they were there for the first time. I don't think you'll ever have the full capacity you might have had with them, so you'll never be as good a magus as you could have been."

The depressing news is enough to wash away my self-consciousness and embarrassment. "Oh," I mutter blankly. Am I going to have to give up on being a magus, after all? "There isn't anything you can do, is there, Rin?"

I turn to her and she sighs and shakes her head. "Unfortunately, no. There's no way to repair nerve damage. We might be able to prevent any further deterioration, however. Their functionality is impaired, but not nonexistent. If you take it easy and practice using only small amounts of prana, you might be able to rehabilitate them somewhat. I'd say you can maybe salvage about half of their original capacity if you gradually increase the amount of strain until the Circuits get used to it."

Rin smiles reassuringly and the pressure on my chest eases a bit. "That's still not bad, though. I thought you only had a few Magic Circuits in the first place, so half capacity is still a lot better than what I thought you'd have to work with. That, and the skills you absorbed from Archer give you a huge leg up on where you really ought to be in your training. If you're careful about not overexerting yourself, then I bet by the time we leave for London you'll be able to use your Reality Marble without my help."

The thought cheers me somewhat. "I guess that's something," I admit.

"It's more than 'something'!" Rin scolds me in her usual irritated tone. It seems she's back to par. "A Reality Marble is really high level thaumaturgy! It's almost on the same level as Sorcery! Archer probably trained for decades to master it but thanks to your exposure to him, you learned it in a few days!"

To be precise, Archer spent twenty years mastering Unlimited Blade Works. I know from the glimpses I saw of his memories. He spent ten years training his mind and body to an adequate level, and another ten to actually produce the Reality Marble. It bothers me a bit that I have him to thank for my current skill level rather than my own sweat and hard work, but I probably shouldn't complain about something like that, especially not in front of Rin. She's one of those 'the end justifies the means' type of people.

"I just need to take it easy with the new Circuits?" I confirm. "So, what? No projection or anything like that?"

"Right," Rin says with a nod. "It's too bad, but it also means that I can't teach you any practical magic for a least a few months while you're adjusting. It might be a blessing in disguise, though. I bet your theoretical knowledge is rather lacking."

Lacking? That's an understatement. Dad hardly taught me anything besides what I needed to know to get started.

"First, we'll review the basics," Rin declares, slipping into 'sensei mode'. She gets up from her seat on the bed and paces the room. "I was planning to do so, anyway. You have no business with the trickier stuff until you have a solid foundation on which to build."

I nod. That sounds reasonable enough.

"First up is the Magic Crest. I know you don't have one, but it's the single most important treasure of any magi. It's the collected works of all the previous generations in a family lineage, and it is the duty of the current successor to eventually add to it and pass it down to his or her child."

Rin rolls up her sleeve, revealing the skin of her arm. A blue light ignites and traces lines across her wrist and forearm leading all the way up to her shoulder.

"A Magic Crest is basically a collection of Magic Circuits engraved on the body and given stable form. Residing in every Circuit is at least one spell chosen by the magus who added that particular Circuit to the Crest. The spells stored in a Magic Crest can be invoked without the need for verbal incantation. The Circuits in the Magic Crest don't store prana like the ones inside the body, but they do add to the total maximum discharge of magical energy. It's capacity vs. output. Are you following me so far?"

"I think so," I reply thoughtfully. "So if the magus was a gun, capacity would be like the number of bullets it could hold and output would be the rate of fire."

"Oh, you're smarter than you look!" Rin compliments me with light sarcasm. "I already knew, but it still surprises me every time you demonstrate it."

I ignore her. It seems to be getting easier for me, like I'm building up an immunity. "So how many Circuits are in your Magic Crest?" I ask out of curiosity.

"Forty," Rin answers proudly. "The Tohsaka line goes a fair way back, so my Crest is more substantial than most. Between it and my natural Magic Circuits, I can discharge a maximum of about one thousand units of prana."

I stare at her cock-eyed. "One thousand?" I echo with no small amount of skepticism. One thousand prana is about how much a Rank A Noble Phantasm needs. "You're kidding. If you could do that, I bet you could've won the Grail War by yourself."

"Don't be an idiot," Rin snaps. "Think about your analogy. What does a gun's firing rate matter if it doesn't have any ammo? First of all, my body can't hold more than about five hundred units of prana. Capacity vs. output, remember? And even if I drain that to the last drop, then I'm like a gun that's fired its last bullet. I'd have nothing left to defend myself with. Not to mention I'd be so tired I wouldn't even have energy enough to walk."

I scratch my head. I kinda get the general idea, but it seems like Rin's lecture is getting derailed by tangents.

"So basically, a Magic Crest is a really useful thing to have," I summarize succinctly. "Are you going to teach me how to make one or something?"

Rin looks surprised for a second, but then shakes her head. "No, there's no point. You'd have to take Magic Circuits out of your body to do that and it would only reduce your prana capacity without having any real benefits."

"But I'd want one to pass down to my kid someday, wouldn't I?" I point out.

Rin shakes her head again. "I told you, there's no point. A child can only inherit one Magic Crest."

The words pop out of her mouth and hang in the air. Um… I might not be the shiniest penny in the fountain, but I definitely understood the implication of what she just said.

"Rin, did you just…?"

"Forget it!" she blurts. Her face is several shades darker than it was a few seconds ago. "It was a slip of the tongue! I didn't mean anything by it! Just… just forget it!"

"O-okay," I stammer. There's no way I can forget it, but I'll just pretend to for now. I don't think either of us is ready to enter that territory at this point.

I remain seated on the bed, watching as Rin marches to a corner of a room and bangs her head against the wall. I can practically see the steam rising from her head and she's desperately trying not to look at me. For a few minutes, awkward silence hangs heavy in the air.

Finally I can't bear it anymore and I clear my throat to try to break the tension. "Ahem! Um, I wish I knew more about my dad's Magic Crest," I blurt. Actually, I'm not really all that interested but I need something to say and it's the first random thing that pops into my mind.

Rin turns around hesitantly to face me. It's obvious she knows I'm not being sincere, but she goes along with it anyway. "Oh, well we can probably find out."

"Really?" I ask. My feigned interest has instantly become genuine. "How? Don't tell me we'd have to dig his corpse up."

"Nothing so crass," Rin says with a weak chuckle. I'm glad because the awkwardness from before seems to be dissipating. "Your dad used to be a member of the Mage's Association, didn't he? There's probably information in their archives about it. Since you're his heir, you can request them to send you a copy."

"Is it that easy?" I marvel. "So I just have to write them a letter?"

"It... might get a little more complicated," Rin admits. "The fact that you're adopted will give them grounds to dispute your claim. Blood counts for a lot in the Association. Did your father ever fill out any legal papers when he took custody of you?"

I nod. "As far as I know. I would think social services would have had something to say, otherwise."

"You should probably request copies when it's convenient, then," Rin suggests. "With the proper documentation, we can make a case for your right to his family's accumulated works. I doubt it's all that impressive. I've never heard of an Emiya family making any mark, so chances are it's a relatively new line. Magi can be pretty selfish about keeping knowledge for themselves, but it wouldn't be worth it to fight you over a neophyte magus line's research. And it's not like we're talking about the actual Crest or anything. Now THAT they would fight you tooth and nail over."

I frown. "You mean the actual Crest, itself? How could they have something like that? Can a Crest exist without being transplanted onto a body?"

Rin shrugs noncommittally. "I don't know the details, but the Association has a method of extracting a Magic Crest from a body and then storing it. If a magus dies without having passed on their Crest, the Association will take custody of it. If the magus has any living kin, then it's returned to the family to be inherited. If they don't, the Association keeps it for its own research. Of course, your father's body has long since decomposed, so this is all just hypothetical. Even if they did have the Crest and you somehow managed to gain custody of it, you wouldn't want to attempt a transplant. Not only are you not blood related, but your body has matured too much at this point. If you tried it, you'd die for sure."

"I know," I agree. "Despite what you might think, I'm not that reckless." I ignore the skeptical look on her face. "I don't care about the Crest in that way. I've just always wanted to know about the sort of magecraft Dad did. He never talked about it beyond the basics he taught me. He was always tight-lipped about anything related to thaumaturgy, and even more so about his past."

Rin smiles. "Maybe he wasn't such an oddball magus after all, then, if he was that secretive."

"I honestly don't know," I admit. "When it comes down to it, I hardly knew anything about him."

Emiya Kiritsugu was my hero more than anything, a man I looked up to and idolized. But he was also a complete mystery, and it feels a bit lonely never having learned about the experiences that made him the man he was. He took me in and raised me as his own. I'm not exactly unbiased, but I think he did a fine job of it, too. But did I ever know who he really was? The lines and wrinkles etched into his world weary face, and the sad, distant look in his eyes whenever I asked about his past... There had been a story there, and all I'd ever glimpsed were the last few pages.

For all I know, the Emiya Crest may hardly qualify as a footnote. Considering Dad's disdain for magecraft, it's reasonable to assume that he probably even abandoned his family's research.

Still, that tenuous connection might be all that's left to me now that he's dead. And, in the end, I want to know more about the man who came to call me "son".

"Rin, do you have a pen and paper? I want to write that letter."

* * *

_After that, you helped me write a request to the Mage's Association and we sent it off the next day. Little did I know that the Emiya Crest would prove to be a much pricklier issue than you expected. That came much later though, and__ we had other troubles on the horizon._

_The new term started in two more weeks, and it wouldn't be long before the whole school learned of my relationship with the school's idol and number one honor student, Tohsaka Rin._


	3. Then and Now

**Fate/indubitanter**

**Chapter 2 - Then and Now**

_Six Weeks After the Holy Grail War_

It's still dark when I wake up. My eyelids feel like they're made of lead, unsurprising since I spent half the night tossing about in bed. Today is the first day of the new school term. More importantly, it's the first day that Rin and I will be publicly associating with one another. No matter how much I think about it, I can't imagine any method to smoothly explain my new relationship with her away.

Tohsaka Rin has a certain image at Homurabara. She's duped the entire school, save for Issei, into believing she's a modest, well-mannered lady who excels in every possible aspect to which a human being might aspire. Beauty? Intelligence? Athleticism? Social graces? Check, check, check, and check.

They have no idea that while the first three might be true enough, Rin is actually a vicious, black-hearted tyrant, short on patience and mercilessly sadistic. Her magus training is moving at breakneck speed and I hardly have time to wrangle with one topic until she piles five more on top of me. The past two weeks blur in my head like some hideous collage of half-developed Polaroid photographs. I'm starting to get the feeling that I bit off more than I can chew when I accepted her offer to teach me magic.

Nonetheless, I persevere. There's no way I'll ever admit defeat to her. That girl is like a shark; just the tiniest hint of blood and she'll tear me to shreds.

…which is exactly what the male half of the student body will do to me when they see me with her.

With a heavy sigh, I rise from bed and shamble towards the kitchen. Maybe a good meal will improve my spirits. Donning my apron, I crack a few eggs and beat them to a frothy consistency by adding a little cream. After adding cheese, some chopped onion, and sliced ham, I've hardly begun pouring the mixture onto the skillet when my quiet morning is shattered to pieces by a wild bushwoman whom I'm certain must have been raised by wolves to have turned out into the sort of adult she has.

"Shiroooouu!" sings the unwelcome intruder. "I'm hooooome! Oooh, I hear sizzling! Lucky me, just in time for breakfast!"

That freeloading mooch. Does she have a sixth sense when it comes to food? When I hear her footsteps approach, I spare her a glance. Ordinarily, I wouldn't let her distract me, but it's been a while since I saw her goofy face. As troublesome as she is, her effervescent self never fails to brighten a room and I could use some good cheer.

"Welcome back, Fuji-nee," I greet, the corners of my lips curving upwards against my will from the simple sight of her. "How was archery training camp?"

She instantly deflates at my question and goes from bubbly like champagne to flat like week old soda in the blink of an eye. "The food was horrible!" she whines like a petulant child, pawing at the floor with her foot.

I stare at her cock-eyed for a moment. What the hell does that have to do with anything? "…and the archery?"

Fuji-nee perks up slightly before frowning. "Hmm… that wasn't so good, either, come to think of it. Our members aren't too enthusiastic. Mitsuzuri-san is just about the only one who takes club activities seriously and this will be her last year… Hopefully we'll find some freshmen with a little fire in them, but I'm still worried about who will take over the captainship next year."

"Why not Sakura?" I suggest before turning back to my eggs.

"She didn't show up for the camp," Fuji-nee sighs. "Even if she's good with a bow and popular with the other members, I can't let someone who shirks their responsibilities to the club become captain."

I scrunch my nose and blink a few times. "Sakura ditched? That doesn't sound like her at all."

"I can understand if she's worried about Matou-kun," Fuji-nee murmurs faintly. "But Sakura-chan should trust the doctors to do their jobs. I'm told his rehabilitation is going fine."

"Is it? That's good, I suppose," I mutter out of ambivalence. I'm still not sure how to feel about Shinji. While I'm glad he's getting along better with Sakura now, his actions did send the entire senior class to the ER and nearly killed Rin. I'd like the think that he regrets what he did, but he might just be unenergetic from his wounds.

Well, he's not a real magus so I doubt he'll be able to cause any more problems of that magnitude. At the very least his sister cares about him, so I'll pray for his speedy recovery for her sake.

"If Sakura wasn't at camp with you, then I wonder why I haven't seen her lately," I muse pensively. "Even though she tends to Shinji a lot, she still usually visits on the weekends."

Fuji-nee sidles up to me until I can feel her literally breathing down my neck. Hazarding a glance from the corner of my eye, I see her squinting at me like I've sprouted a second head.

"Sakura-chan stopped visiting as much around the same time that you started having Tohsaka-san over," she notes from out of the blue while rubbing at her chin.

After flipping my omelet, I move over to the right side of the stove to recover some of my personal space. "What do those two things have to do with each other?" I ask. "Sakura's busy caring for Shinji. She might be like family around here, but blood relatives come first."

Fuji-nee closes the gap between us again, still squinting. "What do those two see in a thickhead like you? I even gave you a hint and you still don't get it."

"What are you going on about?" I snap irritably. "Can you just give me some space, here? It'll be your fault if I burn the omelet."

It takes a second before I feel her presence withdraw. Returning to my original position at the stove, I tend my culinary creation for another minute before switching off the heat. I'm about to retrieve a couple of dinner plates when the air in the room freezes.

"Finished, are we?" Fuji-nee mutters darkly. A black aura erupts around her and I swear that her eyes turn red before narrowing into slits. "Good, good. Now that there's no risk of harming the food, I can punish you without restraint."

Before I can even consider what she wants to punish me for, she disappears from my sight and a vice constricts around my trachea.

"How dare you use that tone with me, young man!" she bellows directly into my ear, arm locked tightly around my neck. "Who raised you to be like that, huh? Not Kiritsugu-san, and certainly not me! If you want to ask me something, you do it nicely! Don't snap at me like an ill-tempered turtle! You don't speak to your elders that way! Understand, you little punk?"

_Yes, Fuji-nee,_ is what I try to say but the only sound that comes from my lips is a low gurgle.

"What was that?" Fuji-nee demands, loosening her grip just enough for me to get a lungful of precious, precious air.

"I'm… sorry… Fuji-nee," I manage to choke out.

"You'd better be!" Fuji-nee threatens. She constricts her arm for one last tight squeeze before releasing me. "Mind your manners, Shirou. Pick up any more delinquent habits and I won't let you off so easy next time."

I nod dimly. Thinking back, I was probably a little more short with her than I should have been. Rin's harsh training must be getting to me worse than I thought.

"I'll be taking this one for myself. Be thankful my bad behavior tax is so cheap," Fuji-nee announces before moving to the living room. After regaining a steady pulse, I rise from my knees only to find the omelet missing from the skillet.

Sighing, I head to the fridge for more ingredients. It's nice that Fuji-nee can be bought off so easily with food, but that omelet was big enough to serve two people.

The television is on when I join Fuji-nee in the living room, after preparing a second smaller omelet for myself. Her plate is already empty and she's watching the news.

"…gas leak victim was discharged from the hospital this morning. Doctors could find no lingering physical or mental damage resulting from his nearly two month long coma, and his departure from intensive care marks the recovery of the last of the victims of the mysterious gas leaks in Shinto. Miraculously, the accidents did not cause any fatalities, though Fuyuki Gas and Electric now faces heavy litigation from a class action lawsuit. A spokesman for the utility company released a statement…"

"Hmm… gramps is in for an uphill battle with this one," Fuji-nee mutters, pursing her lips as she continues to stare at the television screen.

Her grandfather, Fujimura Raiga, is the head of a local yakuza group. Like his granddaughter, Old Man Fujimura is larger than life and can be quite intimidating when he wants to, but he's actually not a bad guy. His group runs mostly legitimate business ventures, including Fuyuki Gas and Electric, though I'm certain there's also some seedy underworld dealings both Fuji-nee and I are better off not knowing about.

"Oh, Fuji-nee, that reminds me." I seat myself cross-legged on a cushion and poke at my food a bit with chopsticks. "I need to talk to him about the deed to the house."

She turns away from the news broadcast and frowns at me. "What about it?"

Naturally, a minor can't legally own a house so Fuji-nee's grandfather has overseen the Emiya estate ever since Dad died. He's always intended to transfer ownership to me after I came of age and graduated from high school but that might not be such a good idea anymore, considering I'll probably be spending a few years in London.

"Do you think he can look after the house for me a little longer? I'll probably be leaving the country for a while after I graduate. If he's worried about things like property taxes, I can probably find a part-time job and wire him the money."

"What?" Fuji-nee blurts, face painted with a bewildered expression. "You're leaving Japan? Where are you going? _Why_ are you going?"

"There's a school in England I want to attend," I tell her.

"England?" Fuji-nee parrots, blinking several times in rapid succession. "Why England? There are plenty of good universities in Japan."

"It's a… private school that has a special program for the subject I'm interested in," I explain, careful to remain honest without exposing the whole truth. Fuji-nee can sniff a lie from me from a mile off. Almost anyone can, really. I'm just not good at it.

She narrows her eyes. "What program? Shirou, you never told me you wanted to attend college, much less one in a foreign country. England of all places? Your grades in my class are average, at best. I bet you couldn't read English street signs, much less thick college textbooks. And your verbal skills are even worse; you got a forty-nine on the oral part of the final exam last term."

Each word is like a dagger through my heart. I already had enough reservations about moving to London and she's only reminding me of how woefully unprepared I am, lacking any semblance of fluency with the English language.

"I'll pick it up as I go along!" I say, trying to convince myself as much as Fuji-nee. "They say the best way to learn a new language is to immerse yourself in it, right? It might be hard at first, but I'll learn."

The Tiger of Fuyuki rubs her chin while frowning at me. I don't often have the chance to see her in deep thought, and it looks really bizarre to me. Fuji-nee needs to be simple and carefree. With eyebrows wrought together in V formation and an inquisitive twinkle in her eye, she looks like a completely different person.

"So what do you plan to study there, Shirou?"

My mind searches for a colorful euphemism for 'magic', but comes up empty-handed. "It's sort of an obscure major," I answer vaguely. "You've probably never even heard of it."

Fuji-nee crosses her arms. "Try me."

"I… I can't explain it well!" I stammer. "If you want to know, you should ask Rin! She's an expert on it!"

"Rin?" Fuji-nee echoes uncomprehendingly. "Who is… ooohhhhhh…" Her lips curl into a wicked smile. "Well, well, on a first name basis with Tohsaka-san now, are we?"

I clamp my mouth shut and my face catches fire.

"I see, I see. It all makes sense now," Fuji-nee continues. "Tohsaka-san is going to study abroad and you plan to follow her."

"It… it's not like that at all!" I protest furiously. "We're just interested in the same thing and London has the best school to learn it!"

Fuji-nee's Cheshire cat grin somehow widens even further. "Then explain to me why you're blushing down to your toes like a love struck schoolboy."

"I am not!" I deny hotly, squashing down my embarrassment through sheer force of will. "Rin isn't the reason I want to go to London! I wouldn't risk turning my life upside down if it wasn't my sincere wish to be there!"

Though that claim is patently untrue, I cling to it with all the conviction I can muster.

"So Tohsaka-san being there is just a bonus? You _do_ like her, don't you?" Fuji-nee observes coyly. Her relentless prodding won't cease until she gets some sort of concession from me, and I won't be able to take much more pressure at this rate.

Swallowing my pride, I nod mutely and stare at my shoes.

"What an honest boy," Fuji-nee coos sweetly, moving to pat my head. Then, before I can even blink, she pulls me up by the collar and snarls in my face like a bulldog. "Like hell I'll let you! You've got a lot of nerve, young man! Don't use education as an excuse to go gallivanting halfway across the world on the heels of your high school crush!"

The complete one-eighty in her demeanor sends me reeling to the point where I can only stare blankly as she continues her tirade.

"You ought to take your future more seriously! Don't base decisions that will affect the rest of your life on the urges of adolescent hormones! As your guardian, I will never approve of such reckless behavior! Move to England? HA! I'll bury you up to your head at low tide until you recognize your own foolishness before that happens!"

With a terse harrumph, she releases her grip on me and picks up a duffle bag. "I'm leaving now. The teachers have a meeting before the opening ceremony today." She stops just short of the front door and spares me a cursory glance. "I don't mind if you want to keeping inviting Tohsaka-san over, but I don't want to hear another word about London. Think seriously about what you want to do with your life because you only have a year before you graduate. It's time to grow up, Shirou."

I almost expect her to slam the door on the way out, but it only shuts with a soft clack like always. The echo of it resonates sharply in my mind, though, many times louder than the physical volume. I don't know how much time passes while I stand there in a daze, but my omelet has long grown cold by the time I finish it.

After lethargically changing into my school uniform, I pack my book bag and head out. A voice greets me as I'm locking the front gate.

"Morning, Shirou. You're looking surly. Wake up on the wrong side of the bed today?"

I turn and find Rin standing a few paces away, looking unusually chipper. She's pretty much the opposite of a morning person, another contradiction to her honor student image, so if she's actually in a good mood this early in the day it can only be because she has cruel designs for me. Why else would she have come?

"Rin, what are you doing here?" I ask suspiciously.

She frowns at me and crosses her arms. "What kind of greeting is that? I went out of my way to meet up so I could walk to school with you and this is the treatment I get?"

My mind goes blank. "You… what?"

"I woke up early so we could walk to school together," Rin reiterates. Her tone suggests impatience but her cheeks are a bit pink. "Do I need to say it again or are you done zoning out?"

I cough. "Um… no, I got it that time." If this is a trap, she's succeeded in catching me by surprise. "But… why do you want to walk together? It was your idea to pretend to be strangers until the new term so I thought you'd want to keep things low key for a while."

Rin turns away from me. "T-trying too hard to cover things up would draw more suspicion than being open and natural, right? Don't be so stubborn and just go with it!"

She breaks into a brisk pace down the street without me and I have to jog a bit to catch up. Neither of us says anything to the other for a while. Even though Rin said we should act naturally, walking side by side to school together like this feels anything but. I get butterflies in my stomach every time I steal a glance at her.

"S-so why did you look so grumpy before?" she asks awkwardly. I guess she's trying to start up a conversation.

When I remember my run-in with Fuji-nee, the tightness in my chest from earlier returns and my steps grow more sluggish. After relating what happened to Rin, I ask for her advice on what to do.

"You need to show Fujimura-sensei that you _are_ serious," she replies almost immediately. "Her reaction is only natural as your guardian. I'd be worried, too, if I thought the only reason you wanted to go to London was to be with me."

I frown. Actually, I think that probably _is_ the main reason. "What do you mean?" I ask.

Rin sighs at me. "It's no good if you aren't going to study at the Mage's Association for your own sake. If I have to drag you there, and you only want to come out of some misplaced sense of obligation, then you're going to burn yourself out struggling with things you have no real interest in. That's why Fujimura-sensei was concerned when you suddenly announced you wanted to go to London from out of the blue."

I chew on that thought for a moment. I suppose I didn't really consider things from Fuji-nee's point of view. It's not that she was criticizing my decision, but the motivation behind it. And maybe she has a point. I definitely never would have even considered going to London to study magic if Rin hadn't asked me.

"So why aren't you worried about me doing things for the wrong reason?" I ask pointedly, since Rin seems more certain of the sincerity of my intentions than I am.

"Naturally, because you're putting all of your effort in your magus training," Rin says, as if the answer were obvious. "I'm working you hard, but you're stepping up to the challenge. Maybe you complain sometimes, but you're a diligent student, and most importantly, you never give up even when you find something difficult. I can't doubt you when you're so dedicated."

There's a faint hint of pride in her voice and I feel my ears burn at her honest praise. When the weight of her words sets it, I realize she's right, too. Becoming a proper magus is a sincere goal of mine. Maybe going to the Mage's Association wasn't the most attractive idea in the world to me when Rin first suggested it, but now… well, at least I didn't hate it.

Would I still intend to go if Rin didn't? Probably not, but I don't think I'd be so miserable there as I originally thought, even by myself. Learning magic is… not exactly fun, but it is fulfilling. I get a sense of accomplishment from mastering a new concept that just isn't there when I'm dealing with something like math or chemistry.

"Then how should I show her I'm serious?" I ask.

Rin shrugs. "I don't know. It's harder because you can't tell her anything about what you intend to study, but I'm sure you can think of a way to convince her if you try."

I nod slowly. Fuji-nee may act like a goof most of the time, but she takes her role as both a teacher and guardian to me very seriously. She'll understand if I can plead my case properly. "Yeah… you're right. Thanks, Rin. I'll figure it out, somehow."

"Humph. You'd better. It'd be troubling if I don't have my apprentice with me at the Clock Tower."

I feel a grin form on my face as I watch Rin brush aside a lock of hair and hunch over into a sulky posture. You're just too cute sometimes, Rin, especially when you fail miserably at hiding your true feelings.

When we reach the intersection on the way to school, I remember an incredibly important fact that I'd somehow temporarily forgotten: I'm walking to campus with Tohsaka Rin! Halting in my tracks, my heads darts around wildly, scanning for any of my classmates who might have seen us. There's an elderly looking gentleman out for a walk with his dog and a couple of gossiping housewives, but thankfully no one I recognize from school.

"Shirou, why did you stop?" Rin asks when she notices I've fallen behind.

Still surveying my surroundings for signs of danger, I complain to my travel companion. "Can't you think a little more about me? When word gets out that I walked onto campus with the school idol, the female half of the student body is going to gossip and create all sorts of misunderstandings about our relationship and the male half will be out for my blood!"

"Hmm," Rin murmurs disinterestedly. "I can't help you with the males, but I don't understand your concern about the girls gossiping. What's there to misunderstand? You and I are going out, aren't we?"

She says the last part so naturally I almost agree with her without thinking about it.

Then I come to my senses.

"W-w-w-what?" I stammer. Her words are so unexpected that I lose all the composure that I've been working so hard to build up when I'm with Rin. "What did you just say?" Surely I'd misheard things. Even Rin couldn't boldly declare such a thing with a straight face.

"I'm saying it's not unusual for a couple to walk to school together," she says in the same nonchalant tone.

"W-w-w-what?" I repeat stupidly.

Rin marches up to me and points an accusing finger at my chest. "Don't tell me this is news to you. We've already been on a date once and it's obvious we both like each other. There's no rule that says an apprentice and master can't be boyfriend and girlfriend. It's cute that you're so naïve, but don't you think there's a limit?"

Even though I'm sure the last part is a jibe, Rin doesn't speak with her usual lighthearted, teasing manner. She's smiling faintly, but I don't feel like she's mocking me. She's actually serious. She's acknowledging me as her boyfriend.

I mean… I'm happy about that… I think? I just never expected that it would be so easy for her. I didn't think she was ready to consider us as… 'us'. But I guess it was me who wasn't ready…

"Rin, I…" I try to force myself to speak but my throat is bone dry.

"Oh, geez," she says sardonically, "you really are a slow one, aren't you? Well, fine. I'll put it in terms even you'll be able to understand."

She leans in towards me and all I can think is about how beautiful her brilliant turquoise eyes are… Her face keeps drawing closer and I finally shut my eyes tight to brace for the impending collision when I feel something soft on my lips.

It tastes sweet… and bitter… and salty… and…

…right.

I open my eyes again. Rin has a finger on her lip and she's studying me with a crooked smile. She's blushing furiously, but doesn't shy away.

"Was that clear enough for you, Shirou?" she asks.

I answer her with a kiss.

…and I don't give a damn if the whole world sees it.

* * *

_Holy Grail War - Night Eight_

"Hold on for a second," Tohsaka interrupts. She rises from her seat and starts pacing the room, a hand nursing her forehead. "That's just… not possible. You… I mean, Emiya-kun and I would never…" She struggles for a moment, a pained expression on her face. A moment later she collects herself and, in a soft voice barely above a whisper, speaks only one word. "Sakura…"

A face floats to the surface of my memories. It's a girl with plum hair, wearing that same soft, warm smile she never failed to greet me with nearly every morning for two years. But more than her smile, I remember her eyes. In them I see only trust and affection, and absolute faith that the one she loves will never let her down. Bile rises in my throat and I feel a dull pain in my right hand. I look down and realize I've clenched a fist, white knuckles trembling with the desire to break something.

I take a breath and exhale slowly. "Yeah, Sakura's been staying with that other Emiya Shirou, hasn't she? Do you know if they're getting along well?"

Tohsaka purses her lips and scrutinizes me for a moment before shrugging. "Who knows? You're a pretty dense guy. I'm sure it's troubling for Sakura when the person she likes is completely oblivious of it. I have to pity the future version of me that got stuck with you."

If she intended to wound me with those words, the effect is somewhat ruined by the fact that she's blushing as she says them. "How did she react, anyway? To when she found out about… us?"

A smile reaches my lips, but it's born purely from bitterness. "That's… another part of my story," I say softly before lapsing into silence. Those wounds are still fresh in my mind and I'd rather not open them again tonight, especially after what I saw in Zouken's basement.

The monotonous ticking of a grandfather clock fills the silence. My eyes wander over to it and I see that it's already past ten o'clock. I think it was around seven when I first started so I've been talking for… more than three hours straight? No wonder my throat feels hoarse.

"I think that's enough for now, Tohsaka," I note wearily. "You're probably tired of listening to me, so why don't we call it a night? I'll tell you about the rest another time."

"But you haven't even mentioned anything about The Fifth Magic yet!" Tohsaka protests. "You can't just leave me hanging by stopping here!"

I chuckle weakly. "Don't be so greedy. A lot happened and it's all connected. I can't just skip ahead unless you understand how each event builds on the last."

"Then hurry up," Tohsaka snaps, eyebrows drawn sharply together in an expression of impatience. Is it weird that I find it endearing on her? "As… interesting as the parts about you and I are, I'd rather just hear the important things."

"They are important," I insist. "You have to understand how we felt… rather, the way Rin and I feel about each other. We didn't just recreate The Fifth Magic in a vacuum. I could tell you about it out of context, but then you'll only know _how_ we did it without knowing _why_."

Tohsaka frowns at me. "Why _did_ you do it? There must have been something you wanted to change, but what? It sounds to me like the War ended about as well for you as could be expected, considering both you and I both survived."

I tilt my head slightly in acknowledgement. "You're right. We didn't want to change anything about the War. The fact that we went this far back in time was a mistake. We probably should have taken more precautions, but… well, that's all in the past now, isn't it?"

Or… is that the future…? I shake my head. This time travel stuff is confusing.

Tohsaka arches a brow. "So you messed up? Why didn't you just recast the spell and go back as soon as you realized it? It's pretty stupid to risk polluting the timeline when you don't even stand to gain anything from it."

"Do you have any idea how long it took us to prepare that spell?" I ask somewhat condescendingly. "It took us months to get everything ready. You think sorcery is just something you can pull out of a hat?"

Tohsaka scowls at me. "Don't get fresh with me! Whom exactly is whose apprentice, here? …or was? Or… will be?" She clutches her head. "Ugh, whatever. You know what I mean. I bet I did most of the work, anyway."

"You did," I admit, giving credit where credit is due. Rin busted ass on that one. I helped where I could, but much of it was just completely over my head.

"See?" Tohsaka says, smiling a toothy, self-satisfied grin. What's she so proud about? She hasn't done anything… yet. "Still…" she mutters, staring at me appraisingly. "You're definitely a better magus now, if the magical energy you're leaking is any indication. I must be one top notch teacher if I can turn a dunce like Emiya Shirou into a halfway decent magus. How much have I actually taught you, anyway?"

I respond with a nonchalant shrug. "Enough that you don't think I'm an embarrassment anymore, but it's still a work in progress."

I don't want to admit it, but I'm not really satisfied with the progress I've made. Rin assures me I'm developing according to schedule, but I can't even do simple things like form a contract with a familiar yet. The quality of both my reinforcement and projection magic has improved, but the subtler spells like veils and transformation of power are still beyond my grasp. And because I have an affinity for swords rather than a proper element, that branch of magic is completely barred to me. Seriously, how is it fair that Rin has an affinity for all five?

"But what can you actually _do?_" Tohsaka asks. "Besides projection and reinforcement, I mean."

I frown for a second before deciding it would be easier to just show her. Eyeing a half-full cup of tea we've left on the coffee table, I learn forward and pick it up, holding it with both hands. I close my eyes and concentrate, using the innate analytical power of my Magic Circuit to probe not the cup, but the tea inside it.

Liquids are tricky, as there's no defined shape or form, but that's less important because I'm not trying to 'reinforce' it's structure. That would be an impossibility in the first place because it _has_ no structure, just countless individual molecules all flowing in and around each other in random, ever-changing configurations.

Rather than analyzing the _structure_ of the tea, I seek its _nature_, the qualifiable attributes that govern both its physical properties, like mass and volume, and metaphysical properties like spiritual alignment and elemental affinity. As tea is more or less just water, its nature isn't difficult for me to discern. After finishing the analysis, I identify the qualities I seek to change and send a surge of prana from my fingertips into the tea cup's contents.

Visibly, nothing changes, but I take particular care not to spill anything when I set it back onto the table.

Tohsaka's eyes flicker between the cup and myself, brow wrinkled with doubtful befuddlement. "What did you do? It doesn't look any different."

When she extends her hand towards the object, I quickly bark out, "Don't touch it!" She flinches from the force of my voice and her movement stops abruptly. Allowing myself a tiny sigh of relief, I take a napkin, rip off a small piece, and drop it into the tea.

It quickly ignites into a tiny, short-lived ball of flame before shriveling into blackened ashes that sink to the bottom of the cup.

Tohsaka gazes at it mutely for a minute, and then at me. "What did you do?" She repeats her earlier question, this time with awe rather than skepticism in her tone.

I smile faintly, pleased with her reaction. Taking the cup back in hand, I perform a reverse process before replying. It would return to normal within a few minutes even without my intervention, but the threat of accidental spilling has me worried enough to expedite things. "You're the genius magus, Tohsaka. Care to have a guess at it?"

She frowns and takes her time to consider an explanation, so I ease back in my seat and enjoy the expressions that flit across her face. "That was… liquid fire? Elemental magic?"

I shake my head. "No. My affinity is 'swords' so I can neither summon nor directly manipulate any of the elements."

"Then how did you… do what ever it is you did?" Tohsaka demands.

"What I did was alter the nature of a pre-existing substance," I answer, and it suddenly occurs to me that I'm giving a lecture to Tohsaka Rin rather than the other way around. The thought is so bizarre and alien that I don't really know how to feel. It's simply… odd. Not unpleasant, but definitely odd.

"Projection takes an image and produces an illusion fabricated from nothingness, right?" I continue, making my best effort to both look and sound academic in the same way Rin always does in 'sensei mode'. "Whereas reinforcement only enhances the natural properties of something that's already real. My talent for both is a byproduct of my Reality Marble, but there's a third, intermediate branch of magic between projection and reinforcement that I didn't know about until you made to study it."

"Oh!" Tohsaka's eyes light with recognition. "Alteration!"

I nod in acknowledgement. "Right. It's probably not possible for me 'reinforce' something like tea. What am I going to do, make it wetter or tastier? I can't 'project' it either, because it doesn't have a cleanly defined structure. But I can 'alter' it so that it takes on new attributes that it didn't have before, like a compromise between reality and illusion."

Tohsaka nods sagely. "I'm… impressed, Emiya-kun. There might be some hope for you, after all." She smiles at me with a touch of pride in her eyes. "Then again, I wouldn't waste my time on a lost cause. I suppose that's to be expected of my apprentice."

Against my will, my ears start burning. "O-of course!" I say with a halting stutter. "You're a really malicious instructor so I've had no choice but to work hard!"

Her guileless smile instantly turns wicked. "Oh, and you still have a bit of naiveté, too. I'm glad; it would be less fun for me if I couldn't tease you."

I look away from her and grunt discontentedly. The Tohsaka army has rallied and stolen my advantage from me. I suppose that's what I get for letting my guard down. "Heh, don't think I'm such an easy target for you anymore."

"And I'm glad to hear it," Tohsaka says pleasantly. "One-sided battles would get boring after all a while. I'd be disappointed if you didn't learn to fight back."

The word 'battles' triggers a switch inside my head. I've gotten so caught up reminiscing about the past that I lost sight of the present… such as it is. A War still rages beyond the walls of Tohsaka's workshop. We ought to be more mindful of that threat, considering how many times it nearly killed Rin and me last time.

"Speaking of fighting, what do you intend to do about the Holy Grail War, Tohsaka?" I ask. "Are you still planning to participate as a Master, knowing what the 'prize' for winning really is?"

She frown pensively and looks from me to Archer, who has been content to stand quietly in the background for most of the night. Even when I revealed I know his true identity and recounted our battle at Einzbern Castle, he didn't so much as twitch an eyebrow.

"Archer, what do you think? As my Servant, you have a say in this, too."

The knight in red merely gives her a disinterested shrug. "I can't find any inconsistencies with the boy's tale, and he wouldn't have it in him to lie in the first place. Some of his information will no doubt be useful to us… but before we plan any future actions, I believe an account of his more recent activities would be prudent. We should know how his actions have affected the War, if at all."

Tohsaka nods thoughtfully. "Hmm… I'd rather hear about The Fifth Magic, but I guess you have a point." She turns to me with an expectant look. "So? What have you been doing since you came back?" She pauses and frowns. "Actually… how long has it been since you've arrived to the past? I'm not sure how much you know, but you seem to have at least a general idea of what's going on this time around."

I heave a tired sigh. Give this girl an inch and she tries to take a mile. Well, I guess I can at least answer her one question. I count up the days in my head. "Let's see… Rin and I came back about… five nights ago…"

* * *

_Holy Grail War - Night 3_

The sheet of dust around me is so thick that my chest feels like a cement mixer just from inhaling it. I swat at it futilely, hacking and gagging all the while, and I'm not the only one. From the sounds I'm hearing, I think Rin may have coughed up a lung.

Reduced to my knees with a single palm on the ground to support myself, I send a silent prayer to what ever gods may be listening. Please, _please_ don't let this be another one of Rin's screw ups! When this dust finally clears, I do NOT want to see anything that looks remotely like a dinosaur.

"_Die Reinigung. Weg!_"

A flash of bright light blinds me, but when I open my eyes again the dust is completely gone. Ah, good. No dinosaurs. We're indoors, in fact. Maybe the spell worked after all, because our surroundings are giving me an odd feeling of déjà vu.

"Couldn't you have done that sooner, Rin?" I complain. "If I get asthma after this, it'll be your fault."

"Don't criticize others when you can't do it yourself!" she snaps back. After slapping her chest and coughing a few more times, she comes and picks me up off the floor.

Surveying our surroundings, I note a number of thick looking tomes piled into stacks along with some miscellaneous other oddments that appear to be of the magical variety. Well, that explains why it felt so familiar to me.

"Rin," I sigh, "why are we still in your basement? Did your spell even do anything besides potentially give us a lifetime of breathing problems?"

She puffs her chest indignantly and scowls at me. "Of course it worked! …probably."

"That doesn't exactly inspire much confidence in me," I note dryly.

Rin folds her arms and taps a foot impatiently. "The Fifth Magic traverses time, not space. We're in my basement because that's where we invoked the spell. _Where_ we'd end up was never an issue. The only question is, _when_ are we?"

"Okay," I allow. Frankly, I'm just happy not to have been eaten by a tyrannosaurus so I'll go along with her for now. "Then what's the plan? Assuming the spell was a success, should we just go find our past selves and explain what's going on?"

Rin murmurs indistinctly, gaze moving to the stairs leading to the living room. "Hmm… Let's just… head up and see what happens."

She's already halfway up the stairs so I follow her without protest. Even assuming Rin's past self heard the ruckus we made and was waiting in ambush, she'd probably think twice before attacking someone who looked exactly like herself… wouldn't she?

My concern turns out to be moot because nobody is in the living room. Everything is as it's always been. The only strange thing I notice is how much another person's house feels like a second home to me now.

"I guess you're out for the evening?" I venture. "Which probably means both of us are at my house. Either that, or the spell was a dud, after all."

"Or not," Rin says, pointing at her grandfather clock. The time reads just past eleven o'clock.

"So we've traveled at least three hours back in time," I observe. "That's… still not that encouraging."

"It has to be more than that," Rin corrects. "You and I were home three hours ago." Excitement creeps into her voice. "I think it worked, Shirou! We really did it! We recreated The Fifth Magic!"

"Hold on," I admonish before she gets carried away. "Let's postpone the celebration for a second and check a calendar first. Even if we're in the past, we still don't know exactly when."

"I'm telling you it worked!" Rin persists doggedly. "You should have a little more faith in your master! At most, I might have messed up by going a little too far back but it's better to err on the safe side, right?"

Ignoring her protests, I retrieve the calendar hanging on the wall. Just from glancing at the date, my head starts throbbing.

"Rin, you've got it backwards," I groan, pinching the bridge of my nose. "We haven't gone too far back; we didn't go back far _enough!_ It's only February 2nd!"

"What!" Rin squawks, ripping the calendar from my hands. "That's impossible! I was sure that I…" Her voice trails off and becomes a low whine. "Oh, for the love of… I messed up _again!_ Why does this always happen to me? I'm cursed!"

She kicks at her coffee table and upends it. "Damn it! I was so close!"

I grab her by the shoulders before she can trash anymore of her furniture. "Okay, let's stop wrecking the house and just calm down for a second." After walking her to the sofa, we both sit and I start working out a contingency plan in my head. "Maybe this isn't so bad. We started working on the spell way before February 2nd, so our past selves should accept our explanation pretty easily. If we just tell them what happened, then we can work with them to figure out what went wrong. Then maybe they'll have better luck with a second attempt."

Rin brightens almost immediately. "Hey… that sounds like it could work!" She smiles at me. "Good thinking, Shirou! You've gotten pretty reliable."

While secretly pleased from her praise, I fold my arms and reply ungraciously, "Yeah? Well, one of us has to be."

From the way Rin's grin widens, I can tell she doesn't buy my act. "Yes, you're coming along nicely. Just don't get cocky because you've still got a long way to go."

Heh. You won't have the upper hand forever, Rin. Someday I'll make you admit defeat so you'd better be prepared. It's only a matter of time before every apprentice surpasses their master.

"A-anyway-" I cut myself off when my voice stutters. Damn it, my stupid body should just obey my mind. Rin is going to have a field day if I don't pull myself together. After clearing my throat, I start again, "Anyway, what do you want to do now? Should we just wait until you come back?"

Rin eyes me with a superior smirk for a moment before shaking her head. "Let's get this sorted out as soon as possible. It'd be a waste of effort having to explain things twice so we should confront both of our past selves at the same time. Like you said, they should probably at your place."

The streets are empty as we head downhill towards the Emiya household. Considering it's nearly midnight, that's only to be expected. It's surprisingly chilly out. The past winter was rather mild and I don't remember it ever being so cold. Of course, I never went out for a walk at this time of night, either. As we draw nearer to my house, the air seems to grow even colder- unnaturally cold, to the point where I feel pinpricks on the back of my neck.

This is no good. I can see Rin shivering next to me. Just as I'm about to suggest we quicken our pace, I feel a tug on my sleeve.

"Shirou… stop," Rin urges in a low whisper. "I… I remember this feeling… We need to-"

She's interrupted by a flash of white light from off in the distance. It's probably at least a few hundred meters away, but it's still bright enough that I reflexively shield my eyes from the sight of it.

Wait. Did that come from my house? It's still too far for me to see so I use magic to reinforce my eyes. Even with the enhanced vision I can't tell, but I do see two figures standing in front of what may or may not be my front gate. Their backs are turned to me so I can't see the faces, but they're both wearing red…

"Shirou," Rin hisses. "Shirou, we need to get out of here. Now!"

Rin pulls at my arm and I back up a few paces, but keep my eyes trained on the horizon.

Then I see her. She comes from over the wall, leaping out with an unearthly swiftness and grace that simply isn't possible for any mere human. Pale moonlight reflects off of her gleaming silver armor, and her golden hair rustles lightly as she closes on the taller of the red figures.

"It can't be…" I whisper, shaking my head as if to wake from some impossible dream. I never thought I'd see her face again. "Saber…"

"Shirou, stop dragging your feet!" Rin snaps tersely. "We need to get away before they see us! This is too far back! If we contaminate the timeline now, there's no telling what may happen!"

Her voice wakes me from my daze and everything clicks into place. February 2nd… When I checked the calendar, why didn't I bother to notice the year?

"Rin, this is…"

"I know!" she interrupts. "I know, but this isn't the place to be worrying about that! Pull yourself together and let's GO!"

Somehow I manage to turn away and get my leaden legs to move. At Rin's urging, I follow her slowly at first but our pace quickly breaks into a sprint. Similarly, my mind also shifts out of neutral and I'm able to articulate my thoughts after some time passes. Sort of.

"This is… not good."

"You think?" Rin scowls. "And here I thought I'd nearly cured you of your stupidity!"

"Hey! I'm not the one who screwed up The Fifth Magic and brought us back to the Holy Grail War!"

We glower at each other for a second before breaking eye contact.

"Save your complaints for later," Rin mutters gruffly. "We need to find a safe place to cool our heads and think about what to do. Obviously, we can't go back to my house so… let's head to Shinto. You have your wallet, don't you?"

I move a hand to my back pocket. "Yeah."

"Fine. Then let's find a cheap place to spend the night."

"Fi-," I almost agree before stopping myself. I squint at Rin, trying to find a hint of sanity. Does she need her head examined? "How can you think about sleeping at a time like this! Don't you think we've got bigger problems than you getting your beauty rest?"

"Arguing isn't going to help us!" she says, giving me a reproachful look. "I know you're worried, but we have to keep calm and not do anything rash. If we screw up now, then _poof!_ Our timeline goes up in smoke and you and I get paradoxed out of existence. And that's not even the worst possible outcome. Remember, it's not just our lives at stake."

I feel like I had a bucket of ice water poured on me. Rin is absolutely right. The Holy Grail War was a pivotal point in both of our lives. Even the tiniest change could have led to a disastrous outcome, and we're unfathomably lucky that things ended as well as they did. One misstep and Gilgamesh would have won, that cursed black mud flowing endlessly out of the tainted Grail to extinguish the lives of all humanity.

"Sorry, Rin," I say, my voice soft and somber from the weight of cruel realization. "You're right. We can't afford to act recklessly." I shift uncomfortably. "And sorry for what I said earlier. I know you worked really hard on that spell."

"Small good that did us," she spits in self-derision. "No matter what I do, I just screw up the most important things."

"But you always fix them, afterwards," I point out.

Rin barks out a bitter laugh. "I try, anyway. But it looks like I've screwed up twice this time."

"We _both_ screwed up the first time," I correct. "And who can blame you for _almost_ successfully recreating The Fifth Magic when there are only five sorcerers in the whole world?"

"How about the person whose life we're supposed to be saving?" Rin snaps angrily, turning her head away from me. "I just wanted to make things right, and look at the result. Surprise, surprise, Tohsaka Rin blows it again!"

She suddenly stops running and freezes in place. Arms hanging rigidly at her sides, she balls both her hands into two small, trembling fists.

"Everything is all my fault and even when I try to made amends, I only make things worse. What a joke. Forget the Mage's Association, I should just run away and join the circus."

I've heard enough. She thinks all of this is her fault? If that's what she really believes, then she's a bigger idiot than me.

"Rin, haven't we had this conversation before?" I ask lightly. When I close my eyes, I can still remember how it felt back then. It was a cold night just like this one, but my back was steeped with warmth. Stray strands of her hair tickled the back of my neck as a light breeze brushed past us. The moon looked so radiant that night, but I knew the person sitting behind me was even more dazzling, both inside and out.

"Remember what I told you then? You haven't made a mistake. If you walk down the path you believe to be right, there's no way you can be wrong. If you haven't made a mistake, then you can be proud of yourself even if you're unsuccessful. There's no need to regret anything. If you have the time to get depressed, then you have the time to bounce back and try again. Or, what? Do you intend to give up now?"

She instantly snaps her head at me and I can see her eyes glisten as tears catch the moonlight. "Of course not!"

I smile. "Then what are we standing around for? I don't know about you, but I'm cold."

"I'm cold too, you idiot!" she barks, wiping at her eyes with a sleeve. Inhaling a deep, cleansing breath, she composes herself again. "Heh. I know what I need to do. You don't have to remind me."

"I know," I say with a soft chuckle. Rin is so predictable sometimes. Since she seems to have recovered, I start walking again. The bridge to Shinto lies before us and the bright lights of the New City Complex twinkle like beacons on the horizon.

"Hey, wait up!"

Footsteps pound as she jogs to catch up with me. As she pulls to my side, I reach over and wrap an arm around her. Her body stiffens.

"H-hey, w-what are you doing?" she demands, shooting me a glare that somehow lacks any spite in it.

Grinning at her, I lean in close to her ear and murmur, "You said you were cold, didn't you?"

She blinks owlishly back at me for a second before averting her gaze, and I feel her muscles relax. "Humph. If you were a proper gentleman, you would have done so in the first place."

As we cross the bridge, she leans her head into my shoulder and whispers something so softly that the wind sweeps it away before it can reach my ears. It doesn't bother me. I already know what she said without needing to hear it.

You're welcome, Rin.

* * *

_Holy Grail War - Night Eight_

"What are you smiling about?" Tohsaka asks with a dissatisfied frown. Looking at her reminds of how much Rin has changed, and also how much she hasn't.

"Oh, nothing," I tell her. "Just remembering something trivial. Let's see, where were we?"

"You were saying something about five nights ago," she reminds me. "You came back, and then what?"

I briefly consider what to tell her say before deciding on, "Lots of things." I already related the events of my timeline's version of the Holy Grail War in their entirety and then some, and I'm not really in the mood for any more storytelling for one night. Rin's probably waiting for me and I'm going to have to save something for my explanation to her.

"Try something less vague?" Tohsaka reproaches sourly.

I shake my head. "Another time."

She raises an arm and her Magic Crest bursts to life. "How about now?"

"Nope," I say flatly, folding my arms. I've spent enough time as Rin's apprentice by now to tell when she's genuinely angry and when she's just being difficult. "This shop is closed for the night. Come back during business hours."

"You…" Tohsaka emits a growl filled with scorn. A tiny black sphere forms at the tip of her forefinger.

I glance at it and shrug. "If you plan on cursing me, you'll only have to wait even longer until I'm well enough to speak again."

Her scowl deepens and the sphere grows a little larger.

"If you're going to do it, then hurry up," I sigh. "It's getting late and I'm tired."

She grits her teeth and the black ball of magical energy swells to the size of a nearly complete Gandr Shot. I simply stare at it impassively until Tohsaka finally backs down and she cancels the spell. The sphere breaks apart as the unused magical energy disperses into the air.

"Fine, so you called my bluff. Where do we go from here? You still have information I want and I'm going to get it, one way or another."

"Don't be so belligerent, Tohsaka," I admonish. "It's not like I'm refusing to tell you any more. Is it so unreasonable to ask for a break? I've been talking for almost four hours."

"Huh?" she blurts in surprise and turns to the clock. "What? Was it already this late?"

"Geez, you can be so absentminded sometimes," I complain. Rising to my feet, I retrieve my jacket from the coat rack. "I'll be going now, if you don't mind."

"Not so fast!" A miniature red and black tornado whirls past me and blocks the door. "You aren't going anywhere!"

I sigh and place my hands on Tohsaka's shoulders, shifting her over to the side. She offers surprisingly little resistance, probably because she didn't expect me to remove her as an obstacle in such a direct way. Her weakness to surprise attacks is precisely what I'm counting on. While she's still staring in a daze, I open the door and make my escape.

"Get back here!" a voice screams from behind me.

I ignore it and start sprinting downhill, sending prana to reinforce my legs. The wind whips past me so fast that it stings my eyes.

As selfish as Tohsaka is, there's no way she'd let me out of her sight until she got the full story from me. That leaves me in an awkward position because Rin will start wondering where I disappeared to if I don't meet up with her. Either way, I'm pissing one of them off. Given the choice, though, I have to go with the one I'm _not_ sleeping with.

I can hear footsteps hot on my heels from my back. "Archer, stop him! But don't kill him!"

Oh, crap. I forgot about Archer. Even using reinforcement magic, there's no way I can outrun-

Before I can even finish my thought, he appears in front of me and I skid to a halt. Kanshou and Bakuya held firmly in hand, he sneers and says, "Just give me an excuse, boy."

I throw up my arms in surrender. The distant footsteps behind me grow in volume until they're drowned out by the sound of heavy breathing. I turn and find Tohsaka leaning forward, hands on her knees. She places a hand over her chest and gulps down a lungful of air or two before straightening her posture.

"Looks like you've been working on your reinforcement magic," she notes coldly. "I hate to admit it, but you're probably better at it than me if you can move that fast. I can't believe you made it all the way to the intersection before Archer caught you."

I shrug modestly. "It was easier to improve something I was already good at than to learn something new I don't have much talent for."

Tohsaka flashes a few teeth when she forms a smug grin. "Too bad for you it's not enough to beat a Servant."

"Too bad for me," I agree sourly.

Her smile widens and when she speaks again, it's in a sickeningly sweet tone. "You'll come back with me now, won't you, Emiya-kun?"

"I'd… rather not." As malicious as Tohsaka may be, Rin has many more creative avenues for punishing me.

"You don't appear to have many alternatives," Tohsaka points out coyly.

She's right about that much. I could make a run for it, and Archer would likely cut me down in the attempt. Or I could fight him head on, and risk a high probability of the same result. Even though we crossed blades before, that was after he severed his contract with Rin. There won't be the convenient handicap of his low prana reserves if it comes to blows, this time.

"Maybe I'm just waiting for a miracle to happen," I offer with a shrug.

Tohsaka laughs. "If only life were that convenient. You know, you've become a lot more impudent, Emiya-kun."

To that, I grin at her sardonically. "What can I say? I picked up some bad habits from my ill-tempered master."

The amusement fades from her face and she scowls at me. "I think you've had enough fun at my expense for one night." She turns to her Servant. "Archer, knock him out."

Archer doesn't exactly smile, but he does flash his canines as a feral gleam enters his eyes. "I advise you hold still. If you resist, I may accidentally snap your spine in half, and what a shame that would be. Though, if your life is all my Master needs, it should be fine even if you're paralyzed. And if the unthinkable should happen, well… oops."

I glare at him, making no effort to hide my contempt. "There's no paradox even if you kill me."

Archer shrugs. "Given that you're still alive after mucking up the timeline, I would assume so, even if you were the one I needed to dispose of. That doesn't change the fact that I have a grudge against the boy called Emiya Shirou."

"Archer," Tohsaka calls impatiently. "I don't care about your grudges or who you were in your previous life. You're my Servant now. I gave you an order and I expect you to obey it."

The red knight glances over to her and heaves an exaggerated sigh. "I can't begin to fathom what possessed you to voluntarily take that one on as your master."

Hmm. He has me there. "Sometimes, I'm not sure, either," I admit.

Tohsaka simmers quietly from the sidelines. A vein pulses just above her left eye.

"Oh, it seems she's almost at her limit," Archer observes. "I suppose I should hurry and obey her before she loses her cool and wastes another Command Spell." He turns to me, still brandishing Kanshou and Bakuya. "Shall we do this the easy way or the hard way? It's your choice, Emiya Shirou." His self-satisfied smirk tells me which option he would prefer.

The rational part of me says I can't beat him. He is, after all, a Heroic Spirit. From the first time I saw him battle Lancer, I knew no human could ever fight on such a sublime level. But the rebellious part of me says that, even more than being a Heroic Spirit, that man is simply a person I can never accept. Archer is a vision of what I might have become.

Emiya Shirou's ideal is flawed. I knew that, even when I fought him before. But… to know is one thing; to experience is another. I swore back then to never regret my path and yet the choices I've been forced to make have caused me to doubt my resolve more than once. How can everyone be happy when life is a zero sum game? The price of one person's joy is another person's despair…

Damn it, I can't afford to lose heart now. All of this can't have been for nothing. Rin and I sought a miracle through sorcery and damned if we don't get one!

"As if I'd take the easy way out," I snarl, projecting my own twin swords. I'm going to wipe that smug grin right off his face. "If the sore loser wants a rematch, who am I to deny him?"

Maybe it's just reckless bravado, but I refuse to back down from this twisted, morally bankrupt man who also once called himself Emiya Shirou. So what if I don't know what the right answer is anymore? All I know is that _he_ is definitely wrong!

"Emiya-kun, what do you think you're doing?" Tohsaka shrieks. "Do you want to die? I can't be responsible for what Archer might do in the heat of battle!"

I shake my head. "Sorry, but it seems like I have unfinished business with this guy, Tohsaka. Just like he has a grudge against me, I have a grudge against him. This is personal. I'm going to have to ask you to butt out."

She says something back in reply but I can't hear it because at that moment a whirlwind of force rushes at me. I kick back with my feet just in time to avoid Archer's swords as they plow into the ground where I'd just been standing.

"Archer?" Tohsaka stares at the smoking crater, eyes wide with the faint stirrings of fear. "Archer, I want him taken alive! Why did you attack?"

"The enemy intends to fight," Archer says smoothly, speaking in a tone that one might use with a child. "It can't be helped if he won't surrender peacefully. What else can I do when he's thrown your offer of mercy back in your face?"

Tohsaka blinks. "That's…"

I'm prepared this time when Archer charges at me again. Bracing my body, I hold my ground, intent on counterattacking after blocking him. A shower of red and yellow sparks fly when our blades meet. The immense force behind his blow makes the ones we traded in Einzbern Castle seem like love taps in comparison, and it takes every muscle in my body and every fiber of my being to hold him off.

"You bastard…" I growl when the strain in my arms reaches critical mass. "I'll never be like you!"

With a single burst of tremendous effort, I push him back and weave my blades through the air. They converge on him from opposite directions until meeting at a cross-section to relieve his torso of the weight atop it. He leaps away before the slashes can connect, but I graze his chin and draw first blood.

He casually wipes the trifling wound and stares at the crimson stain on his hand. "Well, isn't this interesting?" he snorts in amusement. After the briefest of grins flits across his lips, he clenches his jaw into a hard line and his eyes narrow. "It looks like I won't have to hold back…"

His hands blur with a flurry of movement my eyes can't track. Even when I reinforce my vision, I can only catch flashes of black and white and as far as I can tell, he's just projecting Kanshou and Bakuya rapidly and repeatedly for no apparent reason. Before I can begin to guess at what madness has possessed him, my ears pick up a whistling sound from behind me.

I tumble headfirst to the side, tucking into a roll as something whizzes past where I'd been standing. Archer is upon me in an instant and kicks me square in the gut as soon as I try to regain my footing. Reeling from the blow, I have to steady myself by using Bakuya as a brace, but slash at him with Kanshou in my free hand. He's already gone again before I can even blink and I cut only empty air.

"What's the matter, Archer?" I grunt. "Too scared to stand and-"

"Emiya-kun, above you!"

I look up at Tohsaka's prompt and see a host of myriad weaponry poised to skewer me. I recognize all of them. They all exist in my inner world, the desolate wasteland of infinite blades. I call their blueprints with my mind and load them into my Magic Circuit.

"Trace, on."

The blades of Emiya Shirou and Heroic Spirit Emiya meet in a deafening clash of steel and shatter into a thousand pieces. Loose shrapnel rains around me and I throw a worried look at Tohsaka. I'm relieved when Archer leaps to shield her with his cloak, but my own body is pierced by stray bits of metal.

"Good-bye, fool," the Servant mutters as if reading my last rites.

What's he's talking about? A few shallow cuts are hardly going to finish me off. I back away and wait for his next move. I'm not about to attack him when he's still so close to Tohsaka.

Suddenly, a wave of fear ripples through me as if I've glimpsed my moment of death. Mere seconds later, I hear it, the whistling sound from earlier. It's behind me again… and above me. And to my left. My right. The air shimmers in front of me and I see them, his favorite weapons come to kill me. By the sound of it, an entire salvo of them. There's no way I can stop them all.

…no. I can. Their trajectories may converge on a single point, but they won't arrive at the same time. Even if the delay is only half a second, that should be enough if my timing is perfect. My mind empties. There's no time to think, only to react.

My world becomes nothing but black and white. His blades pitted against mine, every battle ends in draw. Kanshou flies at my right temple, and Kanshou slashes to defend me. Bakuya aims to bury itself in my throat and Bakuya answers as a shield. My arms fly in a mad sword dance and a dozen blades break against another dozen blades. Two dozen. Three.

A dull throb at first, my head erupts into tumultuous pain and the speed of my reaction slows. Kanshou digs into my thigh when Kanshou is too slow to intercept.

Damn it… this headache… I can't…

My leg gives way and one of Archer's swords misses me from pure chance, sailing over my head with a sharp whistle. I fall to my knees and the air around me finally falls silent and I only hear the blood rushing through my ears.

"Emiya-kun…" Tohsaka whispers my name with naked astonishment. "You…"

"…did better than I expected," Archer interjects. "All but the final two? You must have the luck of the devil to have avoided that last one. It would have been fatal, too. Pity…"

My head pounds like a taiko drum, growing louder and louder with each passing second. I clutch at my skull with a hand, because it feels like it will split open if I don't.

I can vaguely make out the sound of footsteps as they draw closer. "A heroic effort, Emiya Shirou, which is all the more reason for you to die. The world has no need for a clown of a hero with an ideal like yours."

He kicks at Kanshou's pommel, driving it deeper into my leg. Through the murky haze clouding my mind, the pain feels distant compared to the agony and humiliation of defeat. How could I have lost to _him_, of all people?

"Archer, stop!" Tohsaka screams. "I only wanted you to knock him out!"

"Why bother?" Archer says. "He's already told us everything pertinent about the War. And given time, I'll wager you can discover the sorcery on your own. There's no need to keep him alive." He ignores his Master and pins my shoulder to the ground with a foot. "It's your fault for throwing away all of your bargaining chips. You've dug your own grave, so be a good corpse and go lie in it."

I grit my teeth and battle against the throbbing in my head. "Reduced to generic death threats, Archer? What happened to telling me to 'drown in my ideals and die'? At least that line was unique."

He snorts dismissively. "Isn't that what you're doing? You traveled back in time to save someone, didn't you?"

My heart catches in my throat. How the hell did he know that?

"Meddling with forbidden magic far beyond your understanding," Archer continues, voice dripping with acid. "Relentlessly pursuing your hypocritical ideal, heedless of the true nature of sacrifice. Equivalent exchange demands compensation for a miracle! Not even sorcery can break that immutable law! Kiritsugu once warned you, didn't he? That the essence of magic lies not in life, but in death."

The Servant stares down his nose at me in contempt and the pounding in my head intensifies to the force of sledgehammer. "No more second chances, Emiya Shirou. My counterpart probably hoped Rin would rid you of your naiveté, but it seems that you only corrupted her with your egocentric messiah complex. Know that you have my thanks for allowing me to rectify his mistake."

Damn it. Damn it, shut up! Shut your stupid face! I already know! I know I can't save everyone. I've borne witness to the rift between reality and ideal. This isn't about that at all! I'm not doing this in hopes of making everyone happy! This is for Rin and myself, two selfish magi seeking absolution!

"Since you insisted, I suppose I may as well indulge you," Archer flashes a grim smile as raises Kanshou above his head. "How's this? _Drown in your ideals and die!_"

"Ar-" Tohsaka's voice cuts through the night air. Maybe she's finally using her Command Spell, but it's already too late for that now.

The red knight brings his arm down on me with all his might.

Something is wrong. I can't… think. My thoughts. Scattered.

I see that place. The hill of swords. My world. My ideal. Empty, just like me. Only swords. Instruments of death. They can't save. Anyone. Anything. Only kill. Such futility. No truth to be found. Just an illusion. Is that my life? An illusion? A lie?

Can't look anymore. Turn away. Turn away and look at… the boy. The fool. He should die. It would be… a mercy. One he doesn't deserve. No matter. His life. All lies. Sophistry. Hypocrisy. No value. No meaning. Completely worthless.

No. The boy is… me. What? No, forget it. Have to look away. No time. Kanshou is coming. Move. Project. Do… something! Can't die here! Rin is… going to cry again!

Everything coalesces and my consciousness becomes whole again… just in time for me to hear a sharp whizzing sound as Archer's sword comes down to bear, mere inches away from piercing my chest. It's too late for me to do anything except close my eyes and pray.

Damn it. Was he the right one all along? I can't… _won't_ accept that. I refuse to die like this!

…but do I really have a choice? I lost…

The sound of flesh being cut. The crunch of bones breaking. The smell of iron and a splat when something wet hits my face.

"Guh…"

A cry of pain… except it isn't mine. I feel… fine. Even the headache is gone. I open my eyes.

Archer's arm is still in front of me, only Kanshou is gone. In it's place is a huge black nail, driving a hole through the red knight's forearm. Blood spills from the wound and stains my shirt. My enemy isn't even looking at me anymore. That's when I notice the chain attached to the nail. I follow it with my eyes and it leads to the thing that's caught Archer's attention.

It's a tall woman with long, flowing purple hair dressed all in black. A mask covers her eyes, but does nothing to hide her ethereal, otherworldly beauty.

"Rider…" I whisper hoarsely in bleak amazement.

She nods slightly, as if to acknowledge me. Then, without skipping a beat, she jerks back on the chain she's holding and Archer goes flying. Bakuya still in his opposite hand, he slashes at the chain and severs it. Somehow changing his course while in midair, he leaps away and lands some distance away, shielding Tohsaka with his back.

"Why did you interfere, Rider?" he demands. "This is none of your affair!"

Rider glances at me before answering. "My Master has ordered me not to let that one die."

"What?" Archer gasps in confusion. Judging by the look on his face, his guess at what just happened is no better than my own.

Not that I'm complaining or anything. It looks like I got my miracle, after all.

I almost smile.

It was hardly my first brush with death and my survival had nothing to do with any action or skill on my part. Hardly a triumph or victory worthy of celebration, I nevertheless almost smile out of sheer relief and gratitude that my life was spared.

That smile is smothered in its infancy when _she _moves.

No warning. No preamble. Just a sudden flash of silver and the rattling of chains.

Archer is too slow. His bafflement over Rider's sudden appearance proves just enough of a distraction to give her an opening. Her dagger finds its target and draws blood.

"Archer!" Tohsaka's panicked cry pierces through the night air. Mere meters away, she steps towards her Servant, arm outstretched.

"Stay back!"

Archer's terse command brooks no argument and Tohsaka stops in her tracks.

"Damn it, it won't come out!"

Despite Archer's best efforts, the dagger impaling his shoulder refuses to budge. The next moment, he's no longer there and I only see a red blur fly into the air.

"Archer!" Tohsaka screams again, eyes locked onto the sight of her Servant getting tossed like a ragdoll. She doesn't pay any heed to the fluttering of purple hair as another flash of silver streaks towards her.

My body moves on it's own, but before I'm even on my feet, I know I won't make it. She's too far away and I can't match Rider's speed no matter how much prana I send to my legs.

There's not enough time left.

Tohsaka is going to die.


	4. Interlude - Tohsaka Rin

**Fate/indubitanter**

_Interlude – Tohsaka Rin_

Rin trails behind Saber and Shirou. The group moves at a brisk, but not hurried pace, Servant and Master sharing quiet conversation as Rin watches. Shirou makes a clumsy, poorly worded remark of concern for Saber's well being, which she misinterprets as a lack of faith in her skills. Saber's resultant indignant outburst brings a smile to Rin's lips. The scene brings back fond memories of a time she had never wanted to repeat, but still wouldn't have traded for all the world.

It wasn't the same, though. This time, she was an outsider. An anomaly. She didn't belong here, in a place and time that was never meant to exist.

"Are you ready, Tohsaka?"

It takes a moment for Rin to register that she's being addressed. It had been a long time since she'd heard that voice refer to her by her surname.

"I'm sorry, what was that, Sh... Emiya-kun?" she stumbles over his name for a moment, but quickly corrects the mistake while mentally scolding herself.

Shirou... no, Emiya, cocks an eye quizzically before repeating his question. "We're almost to the temple. Are you ready, Tohsaka? There's no telling what we might find and if we run into the shadow..." He trails off and shakes his head. "Maybe you should summon Archer, after all."

"Yes, I still find it curious that you came alone," Saber interjects, frowning at Rin. "Regardless of the importance of what ever task you assigned him, it seems reckless to potentially place yourself in harm's way without your Servant to protect you."

"And hypocritical," Emiya adds, "considering how you've reacted when I did the same thing."

Saber nods in agreement. "It seems uncharacteristic of you, given your usual discretion. Shirou has ordered me to protect you the best that I can, but I will not hesitate to place his safety above yours if I am forced to make that choice."

Fate must have a very twisted sense of irony. Rin would have laughed if her mind wasn't preoccupied with the grim realization that a time paradox could end her existence at any given moment. If anything, doing nothing was a far more dangerous prospect for her than tracking down the shadow.

The chance of learning anything useful was slim at best, but if she was to have any hope of figuring out how to get Shirou and herself out of this mess, they needed to stop being passive observers and take action. The window to Akasha would only stay open for so long.

"Are you sure you know what you're doing, Tohsaka?" Emiya asks.

No, she didn't. Even so, the only thing she could do now is move forward.

"I'm not helpless," Rin snaps. "I understand the risks and I'm willing to accept the consequences for my choices, whatever they may be."

The words taste like ashes in her mouth.

"Okay, I'm sorry." Emiya raises his hands placidly. "I didn't mean to sound ungrateful for the help. It's just... unlike you, is all. Usually, I'm the reckless one."

Rin sighs, more out of fatigue than impatience. The past few nights have been... trying. "There's a difference between recklessness and calculated risk, Emiya-kun. You can't gain something without risking something of equal value. It's the most basic tenet of magecraft."

"Then the question remains," Saber interjects, "what do you stand to gain from this course of action that is worth risking your life?" She turns and stops, planting her invisible sword into the ground, as if to bar further passage. "You claim to be an ally, but you are not being forthright with us. You are hiding something; yet you expect us to trust you without extending us the same courtesy? I have every right to question your motives, and unless you convince me otherwise, I will not allow you to continue with us."

She has a fair point, Rin has to admit. Once upon a time, Servant Saber and Tohsaka Rin had shared a mutual understanding and respect, but that history no longer existed, and probably never would. Rin sighs again, more weary than ever. How was she supposed to win when the enemy was Fate itself?

"Now, hold on, Saber!" Emiya raises an objection only to be rebuffed by his Servant.

"No, Shirou, I will not be moved on this issue. Unless you are willing to compel my obedience by use of a Command Seal, we will go no further until I say otherwise."

"Saber, you're being—"

"Sensible," Saber finishes with an air of finality. "Do you disagree, Archer's Master? As you said so yourself, to gain something, one must risk something. In other words, nothing is free. That principle applies doubly to magi."

Her brow furrows, pupils narrowing into fine points. "So tell me magus, what is the price of your personal assistance this night? Where is your Servant? What are you scheming?"

Rin automatically starts to protest, but when she opens her mouth to speak, the words never come.

In many ways, Saber was about as ideal of an opponent that she could hope for. Rin knows what would provoke her and which buttons to push. That cumbersome sense of honor and chivalry would also be easy to manipulate. And there was always that ace in the hole, her identity as Arthur Pendragon, and all the baggage that came with that legend. Between all those weak points, Rin is certain she could deflect suspicion from herself and even come out with an advantage, but...

She is tired of feeling dirty. Saber had been a friend once, and Rin is so, so tired of hurting the people she cares about.

She bites her lip, hard enough to draw blood. As the taste of iron fills her mouth, she is reminded that the path of a magus is filled with naught but pain and death. She has chosen to walk this path of her own free will. Any regrets are irrelevant. So long as she is a magus, she will lock away that part of herself, the child who wishes for a happy ending for everyone.

Lying to herself had never been a problem in the past. Why should that change now?

Rin smiles, a pattern of muscle contractions her face knows well. To a magus, a smile is only ever a tool, after all.

"Why, Saber, you do wound me with your accusations," she coos, the words rolling off her tongue like silken velvet. "Where is Archer, you ask? Forgive me, but weren't you the one who wounded him? Is it so strange that I would have him recuperate his strength while he has the chance? As we're only scouting, I thought the danger of this mission would be minimal... unless, you're saying that you're not confident in your own abilities?"

As she eyes Saber's wince and gritted teeth, Rin knows she has the upper hand. Time to press the attack.

"This strikes me as a poor way to repay the care I give to your Master while he's at school, where you aren't able to protect him. What have I done to warrant such distrust, I wonder? Emiya-kun and I have put aside our differences to defeat a common enemy. A contract, even a verbal one, is sacred to a magus. I wouldn't have given my word if I didn't mean it. I thought a Servant, of all individuals, would understand that."

Rin fakes a wounded look and sighs theatrically. She's already hammed it up this much; what's a little more? "What's more, as Second Owner overseeing this land, I can't ignore any potential threat to the secrecy of magecraft within my jurisdiction. I'm obligated to search for and eliminate this mysterious shadow regardless of other circumstances. I merely thought it would be efficient to pool our resources since we have a common goal. I suppose burying the hatchet is too much to expect from a Servant whose only desire is the Holy Grail. That was selfish of me and I apologize, Saber-san."

"That's enough, Tohsaka," Emiya reprimands in a soft yet clear voice. Saber has already turned away, a silent admission of defeat. "You've made your point. We should continue before we lose any more time."

For a brief moment, her eyes meet his and she can see the disappointment in them. It hurts to see that look on the same face as Shirou, though she knows she deserves it. Even so, she offers no apology and merely follows as Emiya and Saber take the lead again.

It's frighteningly easy for her to ignore the prickle of guilt in her heart. After all, what's one more tiny sin when she already has a mountain of them?

_Interlude Out_

* * *

A/N: Hello, dear readers. It's been a long time since I've updated, huh? I've always had every intention of finishing this story, but as they say, the spirit was willing but the flesh was weak. I've been occupied with other issues in my life, but it seems like the dust is starting to settle and I can get back to writing in my spare time. I know I'm rusty, so don't hold back in your critiques. I'm sorry that this isn't really a proper chapter, but getting back into the swing of things has been proving difficult and I honestly don't know when I'll be able to post a proper chapter.

I would like to say how grateful I am for everyone who's expressed interest in this story. Even though I haven't updated in over two and a half years, I still get at least a few new followers every month and even the occasional PM. Without that little extra bit of motivation, I don't know if I would have tried to take up the pen again (or the keyboard, rather). I hope I can live up to your expectations in the chapters to come. I know it was a long wait, but I'll do my best to make it worth it.

Till then, try to consider this an appetizer. With any luck, the main course will be soon to follow.


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